"Anonymous" Letter:
Dearest OBVIOUS RECIPIENT,
I have two questions for you. 1) Did you attend school as a child? 2) Are you a thinking and functioning human being now? If you answered both of these questions in the affirmative, I have a followup question. Why did you insist on changing the way we educate people? You have so severely screwed up the education system that I can see absolutely no way to fix it, even with a ten year plan.
I just don't feel like going into my exact feelings at the moment because this would become a novel, so suffice it to say that I am done. Just done. Thanks for ruining what I wanted to "be when I grew up."
- Bowman out.
Letter to Someone I Hate Less (but only slightly):
Dear Idiot,
I was thinking the other day, and I realized that we've been friends for, like, 12 years. Most of my students haven't even been alive that long. We're old as balls. (Not testicles, balls like the fancy dances. Those are really old.)
I do this thing where the better I know someone the less serious I am with them. I think you do the same thing. It's a weird thing to do. You'd think the longer you get to know somebody the more comfortable you'd get with them, so you'd be more serious together. Not so. The better I know someone, the better I can be myself, and honestly myself isn't very serious. I absolutely do not enjoy somber moments. It just makes me uncomfortable.
I think I'm trying to say thanks for letting me be an idiot and not getting sick of my shit. I can't wait to get our tattoos together! I think bonding yourself to someone so permanently is a big deal, so I'm glad you want to do that with me. It makes me feel loved.
Side note, I just realized that we're getting sail boats to solidify our friend ship.... get it? Friend Ship. What a couple of morons.
Anyway, thanks for always being there for me. You're the best.
- Bowman
I just don't feel like going into my exact feelings at the moment because this would become a novel, so suffice it to say that I am done. Just done. Thanks for ruining what I wanted to "be when I grew up."
- Bowman out.
Letter to Someone I Hate Less (but only slightly):
Dear Idiot,
I was thinking the other day, and I realized that we've been friends for, like, 12 years. Most of my students haven't even been alive that long. We're old as balls. (Not testicles, balls like the fancy dances. Those are really old.)
I do this thing where the better I know someone the less serious I am with them. I think you do the same thing. It's a weird thing to do. You'd think the longer you get to know somebody the more comfortable you'd get with them, so you'd be more serious together. Not so. The better I know someone, the better I can be myself, and honestly myself isn't very serious. I absolutely do not enjoy somber moments. It just makes me uncomfortable.
I think I'm trying to say thanks for letting me be an idiot and not getting sick of my shit. I can't wait to get our tattoos together! I think bonding yourself to someone so permanently is a big deal, so I'm glad you want to do that with me. It makes me feel loved.
Side note, I just realized that we're getting sail boats to solidify our friend ship.... get it? Friend Ship. What a couple of morons.
Anyway, thanks for always being there for me. You're the best.
- Bowman
Only you would add another and perfect meaning to our tattoos. Baha! Mad I didn't think of it!
ReplyDeleteI am happy that I allow you to be completely yourself, cause you are the exact same way for me! I hope we are friends for another awesome 12 years! Only 12 more, cause that's all I can take. Teehee!