30DWC Day 29 - I Got Mixed Up

I skipped this day at first, so it'll be out of order. GET OVER IT!

Theme for the day is: goals for the next 30 days. I legit took out my planner to see when the 30 days would end, and 30 days from now it will be November 18th. Here's what I chose:

• Do a good job at work... both of em. This seems obvious, but lately I've been really apathetic, and I need to snap out of that. The other thing is, I'm starting the new job this month, and I want to make a good first impression. The biggest challenge will be staying energized throughout a whole school day, plus closing at the store. 
• Finish the book I'm reading for Book Club. Yes. I just became that person. I joined a book club. Basically, I'm a 40 year old mom without the kids or the life experience. We're reading All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doer, which is 519 pages long, and I just started it. First meeting is November 15th. So... 
• Get in some semblance of "shape." David's best friend is getting married at the beginning of November. I don't know many of their friends well, so I want to look awesome. That way if they hate my personality, they can be like "at least David's girlfriend is a fox!"
• Stay Positive. I've been real negative lately, mostly due to the fact that I'm hating my job right now. If I'm stuck here the rest of the year, I may as well be happy about it. 

- Bowman

30DWC - Day 30 - Highs and Lows

Man. We actually wrote blog posts for 30 consecutive days! Well... mostly. I neglected a lot. But we got 60 posts up successfully within the last month, and I am proud of us!

The last day of the challenge asks you to list some highs and lows from the last month, so I'll start with the negative and end on a good note. 

Lows
I was so super busy this month, and not in a good way. For example, last week was Fall Break for our school system, and it was also Tech Week for my show. This was good because I had time to finish the tech stuff that needed to be done. However, it was really bad for R&R. While all my teacher friends were at the beach or Disney World, I was spending every day at the theater from 9am to 2am. Needless to say, I got basically zero sleep and was not prepared to go back to school today.

Because of the tiredness and stress, I had a rehearsal where I straight up bitched my cast out. I used many sailor words. I'm sort of sorry for it, but they're adults and should be able to handle their shit better than they were. Also, it proved effective because they stepped up their game and put on a good show.

I've also been considering new career options. This is a good thing because I need a change, but it's bad because I'm worried about grown-up crap like insurance and, like... bills. You know.

Highs
I had a good birthday! David and I went to a Harry Potter screening at IMAX, all dressed in our best Ravenclaw and Slytherin garb. We also went to Starbucks and had a mini-party at my grandma's house. It was a nice birthday.

I finally started to hear God's call for my life. This has been working for more than just this month, but it's intensified since September. I actually started an application with the International Missions Board to go to Thailand for 2 years. I can't complete the app right now because one of the stipulations is you either have to remain unmarried for the next however-long-you're-overseas, or be married for at least one year prior to your departure date. Neither of these is a grand option at the time, so I'm waiting.

You got me a job! Well, it's not officially official yet, but basically I'm hired! This is so stinking awesome because I am soooooo broke, and I'm trying so hard to save up for Thailand. It's just not possible for me to put any money away right now because I have no extra, so most of what I make at the photo lab will go to that. Yay!

All in all, I'm glad we did this challenge. I think it made us think about what and how we write, but more importantly I think it brought us closer together. GAYEEE.

- Bowman

30DWC Day 28 - Things that Make Me Laugh

This should just be a list of everything. I'm the easiest person to make laugh, probably in the whole world. I just get tickled easily.

Here are some specifics, though:

1. Puns. Typical dad-joke-style puns are hilarious to me. I know puns are, like, the lowest form of comedy. Maybe I'm not sophisticated enough, but I love them. 
2. When People Use the Wrong Word in a Sentence. This is very specific, but it's so hilarious to me. I probably already told you this story, but you're hearing it again! My friend Bryan uses the wrong word in conversation all the time. One time, he came into the living room where David and I were playing video games, rubbed his stomach and said, "You guys. I. Am. RAVISHING!" which was hilarious because ravishing means beautiful. He meant to say ravenous. I love that kind of thing. 
3. Movie Quotes. Most anything from Anchorman or Austin Powers will get me. 
4. BLR. Bad Lip Reading is hilarious to me because it's so clever! Reading lips is really impressive. Reading them incorrectly, but still making coherent sentences is even more impressive.

30DWC - Day 27 - Ass! We are kicking ASS!

Honestly had a hard time deciding on what I'm really good at right now. I've been real stressed out and irritable lately, I haven't read my Bible in two weeks, I'm behind on my book club, and my poor dogs haven't had a full day out of their crate in a week.

One thing I am doing right, though, is my finances. For once.

Since I'm so busy, I haven't had time to spend a bunch of money, so I'm good cash-wise right now. Maybe I should stay busy more often so I don't end up with 60 sweaters I don't need, or expensive dog toys my pets don't really care about.

- Bowman

30DWC - Day 26 - An Area I'd Like to Improve

"Patience is a virtue."

Here's a secret: I ain't got that virtue. I am one of the least patient people I know, and I know a lot of people.

There are several manifestations of my inability to wait for things. Some examples:

• My job: I teach children. However, I am very impatient when it comes to behavior and understanding problems. Meaning, if I tell a kid once not to do something and they do it again, it drives me crazy. This isn't necessarily bad. What is bad is that I get frustrated when I teach something 4 different ways, and someone still doesn't get it. I try very hard to hide that frustration, but it doesn't always work. 
• My personal life: I sooooo wish I was in a different place in life right now. I want to be living in Nashville. I want to be married. I want to have a different job. I have none of these things, and it bothers me. 
• My spiritual life: I know that God is calling me to missions, and I also know what He wants me to do when I live in Nashville. I want to start this stuff, and I want to start it now! I'm one of those people who hears a call and wants to respond immediately. But I believe that because God knows our flaws, He wants to fix them. In my case, He knows that I am impatient, so He is making me wait to do what I'm eager for. Part of this is probably because God's timing is perfect, and if I went all gung-ho leaving the country on my own time I'd probably screw something up. The other reason I have to wait is because God needs to train some things out of me. One of those is impatience. 

Ironically, one of the things you have to do to become more patient is to wait. 

Cool. 

- Bowman

30DWC - DAY 30 - Highs and Lows for the month.

I wish I could remember everything that happens. The good and the bad. I was sitting here thinking the other day what I would post for this last blog. All my highs and all my lows. The list was very generic. Ha! But, most of my life has been quite generic....so...I suppose it is fitting.


Highs:

1. Spending time with friends - Some of my best days are spent with my friends. Doing nothing. Just visiting. I love those times.

2. Leaving Cato - Just...wasn't for me. I am content with my decision.

3. Doing this blog - I have enjoyed getting to know you and myself better this month! Thanks for the awesome idea!! :)

4. Going to Church - Haven't been there in over a month, it was nice to go...the one time I did this month.

5. Ivy Imogen being born - Even though I haven't met her yet, I am glad she exists in the world. She has made it a cuter place for sure!

6. Having my "secret" Saturday off - Having one Saturday off in...I don't even know when was very nice. It was nice to spend it with you and your crazy family. Ha!


Lows: 

1. Feeling so lost and confused - For the past month, more than any other month I have felt so worried and lost about where I am going in my life. About my career mostly. And about not being able to find any inspiration for anything. Wanting to do photography, but not know what to do. And when I don't know what to do, I do nothing. Which is the worst thing I could do. So frustrating!!

2. My bad skin - It is driving me crazy! I feel so self conscious! Come on, face skin! Get your shit together!

3. Seeing my mom sad - The man that she was recently seeing for a couple of months recently broke up with her. For a dumb reason. Men are stupid. She was really sad. And when that beautiful woman is sad, I am sad.

4. Feeling incompetent at work - We have changed a lot of things that we have to do (photography wise), and it is very frustrating. We got used to doing things a certain way, and it is almost like it has changed completely. Having to remember how everything we are supposed to do is too much sometimes. But, you do what you can I guess. And being there a year and a half, I feel like I should have certain things down by now, and I don't always feel like I do. I want to do my best. I ADORE photography and moments and I want to give these people the best experience possible. It is just hard sometimes when you do not feel very confident in what you are doing.

5. Mockingjay - I still haven't finished it. I have a month left. I will though. Last minute as always. Ha!



Well, there were more highs than lows, that I could think of. So that's good!

It's been really fun doing this with you!! I can't wait for the next one! I definitely want to do it again! Maybe we could make up our own questions next time! That would be cool!

Till next time, friend!


- Cobb

30DWC - DAY 29 - 30 Day Goals!

What are my goals for the next 30 days? Hm..., I really don't think that far ahead most of the time. Unless it is something I am worried about, or excited about, but not in a "everyday life goals" way. I think I should though. I would like to set some goals for myself every month. The thing about setting goals though is that sometimes if you don't meet them then you beat yourself up and feel like a failure. I know that is what I do all the time. I guess that is way I don't set goals, I don't want to let myself down. So, I just kind of let life happen instead of taking charge and risk failure. How dumb is that? It certainly sounds dumb when you say it out loud.


I would like to try to make some serious goals for the next 30 days.

They are as follows:

1. Drink a glass of water first thing in the morning, and last thing at night. 

2. Eat less fast food and sweets.

3. Do some form of exercise at least once a week, if not more.

4. Start on some kind of photography...something...or any kind of (i don't want to call it a "project", but oh well..) project of some kind. ANY kind. 

5. Read/finish a book.

6. Read something in my Bible, or at least pray every day.



That should be good enough. I don't want to overwhelm myself. This might be too daunting already. I can't even remember them all without looking up at them right now. Ha!

We will see.

I 'll let you know. :)


- Cobb

30DWC - DAY 28 - #LAWL

Laughing really is the best medicine. I love laughing. Who doesn't? It's like when people say "I hate throwing up", well...who the hell LIKES it?! Ya know?


These things make me LOL:


1. You - You, my Bowman friend, really are one of the funniest and most witty people I know. You may be THE most hilarious person ever. It's cool that you are my friend. Thanks for all the laughs!! :D


2. Stupid "fail videos" on Youtube - Cause duh!


3. My favorite Comedy tv shows - Friends, The Office, Family Guy, Mike and Molly, etc.. These all get me every time! So hilarious!


4. Twss jokes and puns - Cause duh again, these are my favorite jokes. Cause if you have a sense of humor at all, these will always get a decent laugh.


5. My favorite comedians - Fluffy, Iliza Scheslinger(sp?), Anjelah Johnson, Blue Comedy Tour, Robin Williams, Grace Helbig, Miranda Sings, etc. All these people are hilarious, and they can always put me in a better mood! I wish I was that funny!


This was the most generic list ever! I wish I was better at this blogging thing. Ha! I wish I had more profound answers to some of these things. Dig deep. But, then again, this really isn't a deep question. Ha!


- Cobb


Remember this? "Tallest man alive....he is the one with the glasses". BAHAHAHAHA!!!
Hits me right in my giggle dick.

30DWC - DAY 27 - Something that is kicking ass.

There are some things that are kicking MY ass right now. But I have already discussed those things. But, I am failing to kick ass at anything right now.

so....that's all I have to say.....about that...


- Cobb

30DWC - Day 25 - I'm a Good Ugooglizer

This challenge is strange... Rules were, "Type a word into Google Images, find the 11th image, and write about it." I couldn't think of a good word for awhile. I didn't want to put an emotion in because I don't like stock photos of emotions. So, I decided on something I love no matter what. Something that keeps me going. The very essence of life.

I'm talking, of course, about coffee. Hot coffee, to be precise. 

Here's the image: 

I'm very picky by nature so the 11th picture wasn't my favorite one, but rules are rules. This was the 11th stock picture of "hot coffee." 

Side Note: I also learned that there's a documentary by that name, and it's about cases like the McDonald's Hot Coffee Lawsuit. Might look it up. I love a good documentary. 

Okay, so the picture. I'll just state how I feel because of that particular picture since the rule today didn't give many guidelines. 

My favorite time of day is morning. Anything between 5:00 and 8:00 is my favorite time of day. What's the best thing to do while you're awake between 5 and 8? Drink coffee, obviously! The picture makes me wish it was still about 7:00am and I had no work to do. I wish I wasn't going to spend literally all day at the theater doing the not-fun-stuff that happens two days before your show opens. I just want to spend all day at 7:00, drinking coffee and sitting with my dogs. 

Literally as I typed that, David called from the kitchen, "Ok, Bowman! Let's go!" 

Ugh. 

Bye.

- Bowman

30DWC - DAY 26 - An area I would like to improve.

An area I would like to improve....

hmmm...

I definitely want to be healthier. I don't want to keep it in my mind that I want to be "thin" cause that is not important. The media is constantly making women feel like they need to look like the models in the magazine, when those models don't even look like that themselves. And even thinner women still have issues and insecurities with their bodies. And as bigger women, we are constantly made to feel less than, and....gross...if I am being blunt about it.

But we arn't gross...we are beautiful...we all are!  HA!

I want to improve my health. That's it. I know that if I can do that I will feel better about myself. No matter how big or small I am, if I feel healthy and clean and confident in myself I know that the number on the scale will mean nothing. I have NEVER been a confident person. But I feel at some point I was starting to get somewhat confident, and now I have little to no confidence. I know what happened, it was stress. Stress from the divorce, stress from school, I just stopped caring. I could eat ramen noodles everyday forever and not give a crap. And sugar. All the sugary goodie treats. But I am just slowing killing my body and my spirit. And I want to get back on track to a healthier and happier me.



 - Cobb

30DWC - DAY 25 - Any word on Google Images.

So, this blog topic was very confusing to me. I am not really sure what it means. Maybe it is the wording. "Write something inspired by the 11th image"? Like are we supposed to write a story? Write a story up until the 11th image? What? Idk, But I picked a word, and I am just going to talk about this word for a min.

The word I picked was: Contentment. 

Contentment is a mental or emotional state of satisfaction drawn from being at ease in one's situation, body and mind. Colloquially speaking, contentment is a state of having accepted one's situation and is a form of happiness.  
(that came from wiki....not me..ha!)

I yearn so much for contentment in my life. To be completely at peace no matter what happens. But I think this state of mind can only be found through Jesus Christ. His love is the only thing that can give us peace in times of trouble and stress. I don't know of any other way in which to find contentment in our lives. Without the acknowledgement of God in our lives and our unfailing trust in Him we are in a constant state of worry and regret. We are never able to settle into our current situations with calmness and peace. We are constantly worried about what comes next instead of taking the time to rest in the present. This is something I constantly struggle with. All the time.

I want to find contentment in many areas of my life. I want to be content with my work life, with my appearance, with my creative life, with everything. I want to stop being so stressed and worried about everything all the time. Thinking too far in the future and not focusing on what I have right in front of me. I know that I need to dive into God's word to really find this peace and happiness. I do not read my Bible or spend time with God as much as I should. I do not feel like I have the relationship with Him that I know I should have. I just feel like I am going through the motions. Like I believe what I believe and that is enough. But it's NOT enough. And I need to ponder on this and remember it in every aspect of my life. Not just when I am stressed and feel like I need to turn to God for comfort. I want to turn to God for everything! Only He can provide me with the contentment that I seek. 


- Cobb


This was my 11th image --------->

30DWC Day 24 - A Lesson Learned is a Lesson Earned

I also had a tough time with this one. It is difficult to answer questions that span your entire life. If it had asked "What lesson have you learned this year" that would have been easy, but thinking of everything I've learned over 26 years of life is tricky!

I think one of the harder lessons I've had to learn is that work is hard, and it is very necessary. Sounds obvious, I know. But think of it this way:

We live in what I affectionately refer to as the Peter Pan age. It seems as though everyone wants to reap benefits, but no one wants to work. I believe that this stems from our fascination with staying young, and I don't just mean physically.

Don't get me wrong. There are some things you shouldn't grow out of. For example, I like to dress up as characters and go to scifi conventions. This is not an "adult" thing to do, but it's fun. Fun is a good thing! It keeps your soul young! Plus, people like to be around other people who are fun.

The thing I'm talking about is our refusal to be independent. I do so wish that some fairy godmother would come grant me a jillion dollars (taxfree) and pay off my student loans on top of that, but it's not going to happen, so I have to be fiscally responsible. What comes along with fiscal responsibility? That's right, A JOB! And these magical things called budgets! What a freaking drag.

I think that because of movies and social media and the wealth of get-rich-quick schemes we're berated with daily, we sort of develop this idea of entitlement. I should have more money, and I should not do anything more for it. This is a pipe dream, and it's just not realistic. I suppose in my brainplace I always knew work would be... well... work, but I never really thought about what that would look like in practice.

You know what they don't show on Friends or How I Met Your Mother or even Breaking Bad? People going to work daily. Because no one wants to do that! So, we get this unrealistic idea in our heads that somehow we will have time to have a job that pays well, go out drinking with our friends every week, AND have a shitload of free time to enjoy each other's company!

I'm not blaming TV for this. I'm not even really blaming the prior generation for not raising us to work hard. I blame us. That's the thing about adulthood. If you are mistaken, you can only blame yourself because no one else is responsible for you.

How depressing, right?

But, really it isn't. Being a "grown up" is a really good thing. I may not be able to take a jet to the Caribbean and sleep on a beach all day (a fantasy I've never understood because it sounds boring), but I can make good financial choices and pay off my student loan debt. I can afford to live in a house that I like. I can afford to fix most things when they break. And, yes, I can afford to go to the occasional nerd convention.

Plus, if I want to, I can have cake for dinner. Adulthood kind of rocks.

- Bowman

30DWC - Day 23 - What I Want My Children to Learn

Now, I'm not married or even engaged yet, but I think about my future children kind of a lot. To be honest, it kind of freaks me out to know that I may be responsible for an entire person's life for at least 18 years of it. What if I screw it up? What if they turn out to be druggies or strippers... or sports fans? Gross.

I am in no way perfect, but there are some things I hope my children learn from me, and from other people.

• I want them to be responsible for themselves. I know it's annoying when people who don't have kids say stuff like this, but I refuse to be a helicopter parent. Always hovering. Your child can't learn anything if you do everything for them. Obviously, it's okay to help a 2 year old tie his shoes, but it is not acceptable to write your 6th Grader's essay for him. (This happened yesterday, btw.) Along with this (and I know it sounds extreme), I want my kids to learn the hard way if it's necessary. I won't be a parent who puts safety corners and cushioning all over my house. Kids need to learn that running into a corner hurts, or if they touch an oven, they'll get burned. Clearly, I'll caution them about these things, but if they're bull-headed enough to try it anyway, they'll learn quickly what is and isn't okay to do. Side note: this does not apply to chemicals. I will lock away any cleaning supplies in my house. I want them to learn, not die. 
• I want them to be kind to everyone. Not to brag, but I was a really good kid. I was friendly and agreeable, and as a result I made friends with anyone I wanted. I don't like kids who are snobs and only talk to the people who wear designer clothes and have good hair. Be friends with good people, and forget the popular jerks. 
• I hope my children will be Christians by their own choice. It's widely used, but it's very true; Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." This is comforting, but scary at the same time. Like I said earlier, the thought of being in charge of a person's life is scary. Being in charge of their soul (to an extent) is much, much scarier. I want to lead by example. I will bring my kids to church on Sundays, and I will teach them to follow Christ regardless of the consequences. However, I want them to make the decision to follow the Lord on their own because of that teaching. I can't force them into that. But what if I fail? What if they don't listen? That's terrifying to me, especially since I want to adopt. What good would it do to take in an abandoned orphan from Africa, only to have him become a calloused atheistic adult? The whole point is to go and make disciples of all nations. 
• I want them to be financially responsible. I didn't learn this until adulthood, and there are still things I'm learning about it. 

- Bowman

30DWC - DAY 24 - A Lesson I've Learned the Hard Way.

I know that there are plenty of things that I have learned the hard way over the years. But for some reason I am having trouble pinpointing one specific thing.

This blogging thing isn't easy. Taking a step back and really looking at your life up until this point. Really digging deep to discover hidden meanings and things about yourself you never really stop to think about. People are too scared to dig that deep I guess. That's why I am glad we have been doing this for the past few weeks! It's been somewhat eye opening! In a good way.

I guess one thing I have learned the hard way is that you really have to work your ass off for what you want. And things are not just gonna come falling into your lap. Yes we pray for God's will to happen, but I think a lot of the time we just wait and wait for something to happen without taking responsibility for our part in it. God is all powerful and all knowing, but I believe we are expected to do our part. Absolutely.

I have had many things just fall into my lap over the past few years. Opportunities have presented themselves, some of which I jumped on, others I have passed on. Because it either just wasn't for me, or I was too scared to try. I am so sick and tired of being afraid of everything. Afraid of putting myself out there. Of failing. Of being judged. Of not being taken seriously. Of not being good enough. But at the same time I have no idea what I am so afraid of. Every person on this planet will feel these things during their lifetime. Not all from the same circumstances, but everyone's lives are different. But we all feel and go through the same things. And that is just life. There is nothing to be afraid of. So why are we all so afraid? And the one's that arn't afraid (or say that they arn't), how do they do it? What makes them so secure and self assured?

I have learned the hard way that you have got to fight for what you want in this life. Because no one is going to do anything for you. No one is going to make your dreams come true or do the work that it takes to make those dreams a reality. No one but you. I wish I would have really pondered on this before, even though it has been told to me many times. But sometimes when other people tell you things that you don't want to hear at the time, it all just goes in one ear and out the other. Sometimes you have to figure it out on your own. You can only life your life once, and we have to do everything we can to live it to the fullest. To not be so afraid and to really trust that God will bring us through the bad stuff and rejoice with us in the good stuff. But we have to trust Him and praise Him in both circumstances. Our fear can be conquered when we remember that God has our back no matter what happens. And He always will.


- Cobb

30DWC - Day 22 - A Letter

I know we decided to write two letters (one anonymous and one to each other), but I can't really make my first one anonymous. I'll leave the name off, but anyone who can read would be able to figure it out.

"Anonymous" Letter:

Dearest OBVIOUS RECIPIENT,

        I have two questions for you. 1) Did you attend school as a child? 2) Are you a thinking and functioning human being now? If you answered both of these questions in the affirmative, I have a followup question. Why did you insist on changing the way we educate people? You have so severely screwed up the education system that I can see absolutely no way to fix it, even with a ten year plan. 
       I just don't feel like going into my exact feelings at the moment because this would become a novel, so suffice it to say that I am done. Just done. Thanks for ruining what I wanted to "be when I grew up." 
                                                                                          - Bowman out.

Letter to Someone I Hate Less (but only slightly):

Dear Idiot,
       I was thinking the other day, and I realized that we've been friends for, like, 12 years. Most of my students haven't even been alive that long. We're old as balls. (Not testicles, balls like the fancy dances. Those are really old.)
       I do this thing where the better I know someone the less serious I am with them. I think you do the same thing. It's a weird thing to do. You'd think the longer you get to know somebody the more comfortable you'd get with them, so you'd be more serious together. Not so. The better I know someone, the better I can be myself, and honestly myself isn't very serious. I absolutely do not enjoy somber moments. It just makes me uncomfortable.
      I think I'm trying to say thanks for letting me be an idiot and not getting sick of my shit. I can't wait to get our tattoos together! I think bonding yourself to someone so permanently is a big deal, so I'm glad you want to do that with me. It makes me feel loved.
      Side note, I just realized that we're getting sail boats to solidify our friend ship.... get it? Friend Ship. What a couple of morons.
      Anyway, thanks for always being there for me. You're the best.

- Bowman

30DWC - DAY 23 - Do as I say, not as I do.

IF and when I do have children, there are some things I want to do differently. Although, I had pretty cool and supportive parents growing up, but still. 

There are some things that I am still trying to figure out that I want my kids to have figured out by now. Idk, this topic is hard for me to think about....I feel like I am just pulling this out of my ass. 

Anyway..

1. I want my kids to be free of self doubt - I want them to own who they are and never hold themselves back. I have held myself back from things my whole life, and it has mainly been because I have such little self confidence and I am always afraid of what other people will think of me. Well, the mother inside of me says "fuck other people"! Don't let anyone or anything stand in the way of what you want to do or who you want to be. A wise quote from Little Miss Sunshine: "Do what you love, and fuck the rest".

2. I want my kids to be independent and think for themselves - I have been way to dependent on my parents for far too long. I never even thought about going away to college or anything like you did because I was comfortable and just wanted to stay home. I had it so so easy growing up. Everything was handed to me. I was the only child, so I was spoiled rotten. And I probably took advantage of that too much. And I feel that I still do to some extent. But I am starting to step out there more and become a real life adult. But, I would like my kids to figure this out sooner. Maybe get a job at 18 like a didn't do. Not wait until they are 25 to have their first job. I still regret that. Not being more independent. I am still figuring it out. I want my kids to have it down by the time they are my age. Somewhat.

3. I don't want my kids to grow up - I know this sounds like it contradicts what I just said. But, whatever, I know you know what I mean. I don't want my kids to grow out of things they love because they feel like they have to and it is time to let those things go. Like having cereal for dinner, watching Disney movies and singing along with the music, blowing bubbles in chocolate milk, playing dress up or make believe, to an extent (hello, your cosplay stuff!!!). I never want them to stop dreaming and playing and being silly. Yes there is a time and a place, but I don't want them to forget that there is ALWAYS a time! A time to be free and funny and childish. To be nostalgic and feel happy when remembering things that you used to love and still carry them in your heart. It's ok to still laugh at fart jokes, it's ok to have chocolate cake for breakfast sometimes. It's ok that I am 26 and I still want to build forts. It's ok to still be a kid.

- Cobb

30DWC - DAY 22 - A letter to someone, and one for you!

Dear,                   (this will become painfully obvious. But I don't care. Ha!)

     I have loved you for as long as I can remember. I recall the day we met, how lost I was, and it was like you found me. I didn't know it at first, but I figured it out eventually. I know it may have taken me a while to let you in, but I am glad you didn't give up on me. I love you for that. I love you for being patient with me. I love you for a lot of things. I love the way you make me feel safe, and the way you hold my hand like it is the last hand you ever want to hold. You make me feel bold, foolish, crazy, warm, so beautiful, and brave. You make me feel whole. I had no idea all these pieces of myself were missing until you came along and they all fell into place. You make me believe in myself again. You believe in me, and I could ask for nothing more. Thank you for being so loving and attentive and supportive. I promise to return the favor and treat you like a Prince. I promise to believe in you and always make sure that you believe in yourself. I promise to make you feel adored and strong and capable everyday. I will take on this task with great care and grace. And it will be my greatest honor. I can never thank God enough for bringing you into my life. I love you with every atom of my being. And when we are 90 years old, I promise to still love you just as deeply then as I do in this moment. I will hold your fragile hand in mine and feel an overwhelming contentment. You make me content, and you make me happy. 

I love you forever,
Rebecca.


                                                                                                                                         

Dear Bowman,

     Welp, here we are, my friend. I remember the day we met. It was in that sad little house thing by the church on a Wednesday night. I was invited by another friend and she introduced us. The band played and they were VERY loud in such a small space. I don't remember much else from that night, or our first actual conversation. My memory of us just jumps to when we completely hit it off. I don't know what it was, but we just clicked. And it is rare to find someone like that. Someone you don't know, but someone that you barely have to make an effort with. It's like you have always known each other. It's weird, but awesome.
     Other memories randomly pop into my mind: I spent the night at your house in your pretty green room. Which I thought was awesome. I remember you showing me some of your clothes and burning incense in your room. And watching Family Guy. I remember when you helped me with my Science project, and we were coloring rainbow colored stripes with damned crayons on huge flat cardboard. And every time Toxic by B. Spears came on Fuse we stopped what we were doing and watched the video. And it came on like 8 times. Ha! So silly.
     I spent the night at your house again one night and we literally stayed up till like 3 in the morning watching freaking Room Raiders. That show was so addictive! And so terrible. I remember you invited me to a block party thing with your parents church at the time. Took me forever to find it, you and your mom had to come find me and I had to follow you there. And at one point we left in my Velma bug and went to get White Chocolate Carmel Cappuccinos at the gas station. Delish! And we sat in my car and you were telling me about your boyfriend at the time, it may have been Mark, and you told me about your first kiss. Ha! Real friend talk! See, we arn't just all shits and giggles! Ha! I could go on and on with memories. But you get it. Ha! Some of my best days have been us hanging out, and I hope we have many more!
     I am glad that even when we went to two different schools and two different churches for a lot of our teenage years we never lost touch. I am very grateful for that today, cause I would have missed out on an amazing friend and partner in sarcastic hilarity crime.
    Who knew that we would go from meeting in a dingy old house, to not seeing each other for a while, to becoming the best of friends, to getting tattoos together! I really don't know what I would do without you. I am going to miss you something fierce when you leave me next year! But I am so happy for you and so proud! I am happy that you found your other half and that you are in love, that you have found your passion in life, not many can say that. I am proud that you are a Godly woman and a beautiful soul. And I am proud to call you my best friend!

I love you, shitface


- Cobb


p.s - If your letter to me is anything less than this sappy shit I just fed to you......we're done...    ;)

30DWC - Day 21 - Truffle Shuffle

Okay. I must admit, I haven't updated my iPod in years. Lately I've been jamming Lana Del Rey's Live to Die: Paradise Edition album and Sia's 1000 Forms of Fear. However, I dug out my old 3rd gen. (yes...third) iPod and stuck that joker on shuffle. This may be embarrassing:

1. "My Sweet Lord" by George Harrison - Ah, the most forgotten Beatle. He had some jammin' tunes. 
2. "Carry on My Wayward Son" by Kansas - I got this song stuck in my head for like a month in college, so I put it on my iPod. 
3. "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane - Showing how old this iPod really is...
4. "Long Way Home" by Stephen Curtis Chapman - I'm kind of ashamed to admit that I am not a fan of contemporary Christian music, but this song has a message I dig. 
5. "The Lady is a Tramp" by Frank Sinatra - I was in a musical revue of Rogers and Hammerstein songs my Sophomore year of college, which led to a Sinatra phase. Don't worry. I never wore a fedora. 
6. "Ode to Divorce" - One of my least favorite Regina Spektor songs. However, even my least favorite Spektor is a good song. 
7. "(Sittin' On) The Dock of the Bay" by Otis Redding - I love this song still. In fact, I listened all the way through it while making this list. Whistle part makes me sad, though. Did you know that he hadn't finished recording the song, so he whistled as a filler, but then died in an plane crash before the rest could be sung? So sad. 
8. "Nicest Kids in Town" from the Hairspray soundtrack - You know... 'cause I directed the show.
9. "3 Peat" by Lil Wayne - What can I say? I like ghetto rap every once in a while. 
10. "I Don't Want to Know" by Fleetwood Mac - A good ending note, since they've been in my top 5 since I was... well... 5. 

Welcome.

- Bowman

30DCW - Day 20 - 3 Celebrities I'd Like to Crush... wait...

I am extremely behind on blogging! Sorry. I had the Sickness yesterday. I spent all day between my couch, watching Bob's Burgers and my bathroom, watching the inside of the toilet bowl. TMI? Probably.

Okay, so the theme today is 3 Celebrity Crushes. Lemme tell you a secret... I don't really get crushes on people I don't know. Sure, there are people I find attractive, but honestly (and not to sound holier-than-thou) I'm not as attracted to looks as personality. And since I don't know any celebrities personally, I've never really had a crush on one.

That said, I'll give you a list of 3 famous people I'd totally marry based on talent alone.

1. Joseph Gordon-Levitt  - Dude is such a good actor! Plus, I always thought he was hilarious on 3rd Rock as a kid, so... there you go. 
2. Christoph Waltz - He can do literally anything. I've seen him as terrible and extremely easy-to-hate bad guys and kind, sincere good guys. He's effing fantastic. 
3. Peter Mother Effing Dinklage - I am in love. Probably my favorite actor currently. Have you seen The Station Agent? It's on Netflix, so look it up if you haven't watched it yet. Very sincere performance. I love it. 

Clearly I have a thing for older men. I'm okay with it. 

- Bowman

30DWC - DAY 21 - 10 Songs on Shuffle!

Ok, the music on my phone hasn't been updated in a whiiiile. So, this could be embarrassing and hilarious. Ha!

I promise in advance that I did NOT switch any song to a different song. These are honestly the first 10.

Oh lord.



1. "Beautiful World" by Carolina Liar - Not bad. nice song!

2. "Angel" by Kate Voegele - Awesome! She is from One Tree Hill! I wuvs her!

3. "I Said" by Michelle Featherstone - Also someone I found through OTH. Watch that show DAMMIT!

4. "Abracadavers" by The Classic Crime - Good rockish group. Havent listened to them much though. Ha!

5. "So This is Goodbye" by William Fitzsimmons - OTH. Again. He's great. Real slow and mellow.

6. "You and I" by Michael Buble' - All the Yes!! This song will be in my wedding somewhere.

7. "This is not a test" by She and Him - Zooey has such a cute voice. Ugh.

8. "Easier to Be" by Lifehouse - Nice.

9. "Closer than we Think" by The Classic Crime - Again. But cool.

10. "10,000 Stones" by Adrianne Gonzalez - I don't remember where I heard this song. I wanna say Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants? Maybe not. Idk. But it's pretty.


Well, there ya go. Not as embarrassing as I thought it might be. Could have been worse. Just a OTH and Classic Crime pattern. And some bands/people you may not have heard of. Idk, idk your life!

I kinda wanna do the next 10...just for shits and giggles.....



11. "Roxie's Suite by The Chicago Soundtrack.
12. " R&R" by The Classic Crime - Wtf...there are like 2000 songs on my phone. Get outta here!
13. "Who Says" by John Mayer.
14. "It's Not that Easy" by Erin McCarley
15. "Something to Die For" by Carolina Liar.
16. "Born for This" by Mandisa
17. "Should've Listened" by Nickelback.
18. "David" by Noah Gundersun.
19. "Forgiven" by Sanctus Real.
20. "Holocene" by Bon Iver.


Ended on a good NOTE, that's for sure. (pun intended)


- Cobb

30DWC - DAY 20 - Celeb crushes..

My favorite men can be funny, and passionate, classy, and serious all rolled into one. At least in my head. Ha! (These adjective are so basic and they suck, but you get it).

Here are my men:

Enough Said.

And yes, I added 2 bonuses. Shush. 

- Cobb

30DWC - DAY 19 - First Love.

I thought about this like you did, I didn't know how to interpret it either. Of course my first thought was "love" like for a person. And we both know I would have had nothing to say on that topic. Ha! So I was gonna go a different direction anyway.


I would say my first love was for movies. And stories. And dreaming of different worlds outside of our own. Not that I have always felt that my world was crap and have always wanted to get out of it, but, I just like to daydream.

Even at a young age, I always wanted to watch movies. I acted them out in my living room. I memorized them. I even made up characters that weren't even in the movies and just made them work within the story. I have made myself cry, I have thrown myself on the ground, I have dressed up, I have gone on the journey with these different characters all within the safety and non-judgemental space that is my home. I literally did this up until the age of about 16. And I sometimes still do it to an extent. Just sitting on the couch and quoting the lines, and if someone cries...I cry with them. I try to become them. Feeling what they are feeling. Mean what they are saying. I always committed to what I was doing. Did I mention that I have THROWN myself on the ground? Ha!

I know it sounds weird. But when I am not living vicariously through these characters, I still always get so immersed in the stories. They effect me. Good or bad. I really take them to heart. And now that I am older I have started really paying attention to the behind the scenes stuff. The writing, the editing, the cinematography, the directing, the score, everything. I allow myself to travel into these worlds if only for the the 2 and a half hours that I get to spend there. I have even thought about printing out some analysis worksheets and break apart these films from a critic like perspective. Just to learn really.

And when I wasn't watching movies, I was making up stories and other lives, especially with my friends. Barbies always had a deep background and connection. A friend and I once went into a dirt/mud desert looking field in her backyard and pretended that it was Tatooine from Star Wars. It was one day, but I remember it so vividly. We packed a lunch like we were "running away" and we "discovered" Tattooine, and "got lost" there, and even took "bathes" in the muddy water. It was an amazing day! Costumes also came into play. I asked my mom to make me a princess costume one time, just because. It was floor length all made of velvet forrest green material. It had long pointed princess sleeves with a gold trimming and I had a gold rope that I tied around my waste. I loved it. I wish I still had it, I am convinced I still do somewhere in the attic. And it was probably like..April...no where near Halloween. I loved feeling pretty and...not myself sometimes. I would sometimes even act out a life within my own life. When we went to Belleve Baptist I would walk in sometimes and pretend in my head that the whole giganic church was my personal mansion, and I was the princess or what have you that had returned from a long trip, and it was good to be home. How silly does that sound?! But it was fun! Even in the confines of my own imagination.

I don't know if you were anything like this when you were young. Or at least to this extent. Ha! But, I wish we were buds back then. I have a feeling we would have had some really awesome and hilarious adventures together. Ha!

I have just always loved movies and stories and playing make believe. Maybe one day I will make all my built up imagination spill out onto an actual screen. Who knows...

 - Cobb


- not gonna lie, I don't think I could have put a better photo at the end of this blog.  :D

30DWC Day 19 - My First Love...

Theme for the day is discussing your first love. I have no clue what direction to go in for this, hence I will make this a post threefold interpretation. Congratulations. More to read.

Interpretation 1: Love for a Person: 
The first boy I ever loved (who reciprocated the love) was named Mark. He was a cool dude. It was my Freshman year of college when we started dating, and we dated on-and-off for about a year. The thing was, he was a terrible boyfriend and I was a terrible girlfriend. I mean, I had never done this "relationship" thing before, so what could be expected? Don't get me wrong, Mark was and is really fun and hilarious. But our relationship was more like a friendship with kissing. While that's a good thing in some ways, the romance aspect does have to be there. You need deep and meaningful conversation to make a relationship last, and we didn't have that.

Interpretation 2: Love for What You Do:
The first love/passion I ever found in life was theater. If someone were to ask me my favorite place, I would say The Stage. Literally any stage, anywhere, at any time. I absolutely adore theater. I love to sing, I love to act, and I love to make people happy. I don't think I'll ever grow out of this.

Interpretation 3: Literal First Love:
I'll make this as un-Sunday-School-like as possible - My first love is and will always be my Father in heaven. He created me for a purpose. It is amazing to me that God chose someone as flawed and ridiculous and bull-headed as I am to help further His kingdom. He will never abandon me, and that is a feeling you can't find anywhere else.

- Bowman

30DWC - DAY 18 - 30 FACTS!

I hate the question "So tell me about yourself". Hate. You would think that would be the easiest question. We should all know ourselves....why don't we? Weird. I panic and just want to say stuff like "I am a human female, I have brown hair, I live in the US of A, I don't like bananas, I love cats, I am hating answering this question right now." GAH!

Anywhohow,


1. I can't whistle out, only in. And I can barely do that!

2. I have become somewhat of a pessimist over the past few years, and I hate that.

3. Pretty sure I have a sugar addiction. Like....If i were addicted to heroine...Give me all the cake!

4. I can't sleep in complete silence.

5. I live in the past more than I should. Way more.

6. I could eat pizza every day of my life.

7. I can make myself cry pretty easily! I've always thought I would be a decent actor.

8. I still have the last $15 my deceased grandfather ever gave me in a box. And I never plan on spending it. (It was actually $20 but after I spent $5 of it, I felt terrible. So I vowed to never spend the rest of it.)

9. Last October for my gallery opening for my photo class I wore a floor length black dress. Until that night I had not worn a dress since I graduated high school, 6 years ago.

10. I am TERRIFIED to go on my first date.

11. The longest I have gone without shaving my legs was 6 months. Teehee!

12. Every time I go to see a movie I keep the movie ticket. And afterward I write who I saw that movie with on the back of it.

13. I am not very trusting of others.

14. I still don't know exactly what inspires me.

15. I cheated all the time in my Geometry class in high school.

16. I have never felt like I am a very intellectual person.

17. My self confidence in myself and my talent couldn't get any lower. And I don't know where it stems from.

18. I enjoy cold showers.

19. I am a VERY emotional person. Just about anything could make me cry if I allow it. Most of the time I do.

20. I hold myself back from doing a lot. I always have. And mainly because I am afraid of what I will look like doing it. So if I don't come to your Halloween party, it will be because I am feeling too self conscious. Not because I don't want to. And that is sad.  But I won't tell you that, because now you know..

21. When I find a song I really like, it will be on literal repeat for like...a week.

22. I have never really considered myself an artist. What kind of artist is not constantly making or at least thinking about art? Artists are passionate, I don't feel very passionate about anything...

22a. Did I mention I had become pessimistic lately?

23. I want to make a movie....so bad! But I have no earthly idea what it would be about. It would be and Indie film though. Boyhood-esque. But not take 20 years to make.

24. My favorite color is red. And I didn't realize that until I realized how I felt wearing red. I always feel the most beautiful and confident in red.

25. I still sleep with my baby blanket. It stays by my head.

26. I suck at organization.

27. I go through phases of being interested in certain things. Hence my guitar and violin that I have and I have no clue how to play either of them. Hence all the books I have on my shelf and I have barely read any of them.

28. I hate getting up early.

29. I love the rain, so much. We should go walking in the rain sometime! And then have some hot chocolate! And watch a cozy movie! :)

30. I literally sat here for over 5 minutes trying to think of another fact...and I could think of not a single damned thing. So... I am a human female. Done.


 - Cobb

30DWC Day 18 - 30 Facts About Myself

This was harder than I thought it would be. You'd think facts about yourself would just come to mind, but I really had to think. 

1. My first name came from my great-grandfather on my dad's side. Turns out we aren't actually related. 

2. I am 5'1 and I do not like it. 

3. I want 3 children. Preferably two boys and a girl. 

4. I'm not sure what to call my hair color. Is it red? Is it brown? Is it strawberry blonde? Maybe auburn? No idea. 

5. I am very easy to scare. 

6. I'm bad at pranks. 

7. When I was born, I died in the birth canal and had to be resuscitated. 

8. I was potty trained before I could walk because I didn't like being dirty. 

9. I had a hard time coming up with 9 facts. Good luck on the next 21, me. 

10. I like to shop for clothes. It's my greatest vice. 

11. I am constantly torn between wanting my style to be classic and wanting it to be badass. 

12. I love reading biographies. 

13. Similarly, I love documentaries. 

14. In 4th grade I wanted to be an archaeologist. I even got to perform in front of my whole school to tell them what archaeologists do for a living and why it's important. Thinking back, that's probably what sparked my interest in performance. 

15. I'm quite scared of heights, roaches, and the dark. 

16. I hate "What's your favorite...?" questions. I can never choose one thing. 

17. I am extremely cranky when I get tired. 

18. I am usually very quiet when I first meet someone. This is probably shocking to anyone I know because I am the least quiet person in the world around my friends. 

19. I do not believe that people are basically good. I think we are basically evil and learn to be good. This is not a popular opinion. 

20. My least favorite personal physical feature is my skin. 

21. I have discovered that I actually enjoy running. It gets my stress and frustration out. 

22. The weird kids in my class are my favorites. 

23. I daydream every single day. 

24. I wish my life looked like a Wes Anderson film. 

25. I want to adopt children as well as have some biologically. 

26. At some point I hope to live in a foreign country. 

27. I believe that foreign missions are a necessary part of following Christ. 

28. I like cats, but I don't want to own one 

29. I love rain when I can stay in and read books. 

30. I am a follower of Jesus, a believer in the Bible, and an unashamed member of the body of Christ. 

There ya go. 

- Bowman