How to go to sleep.

Bowprick!

I enjoyed our Cabin In The Woods virtual screening together! FUN TIMES!!!

Anywhohow, Lemme teach ya somethin!

So...Sleep...we all do it...some better than others thats what she said...and I'm gonna teach you how to do it the WRONG way! Lez do it thats what she said.

First, get in bed by 10:30 at the earliest. Cause you have to be up by 5:30 thats what she said...so...that should be plenty of time....maybe.

Second, watch youtube. It is a good thing to relax you and get you in the mood that what she said..for sleep. Its not distracting at all...and nothing will get stuck in your head.

Third, move as much as possible. even if you find that "sweet spot" thats what she said, move around anyway..constantly. being uncomfortable is a sure fire way to fall asleep fast.

Seventh, think about EVERYTHING!

Tenth, think of an idea for a new photo series (of in your case a lesson plan creative thing) and turn the lamp on and write down all of your ideas. This is ensure full awakeness.

Twentyeth, go pee.

Twenty third, fall to sleep at around 3 in the morning.

Fourth, wake up late.

Done! Hope this helps!

GYTH WER$WVCRTERH....i mean...bye.

How To Get a Job

Good morrow, Cobbface! It's almost Halloween, so I thought I should post something scary. Terrifying. Something to give you nightmares. Entering.... the workforce! (dun dun dunnnnn)

It's a competitive market, no one's hiring, and the economy might as well be a urinal. Perfect conditions for us twenty-somethings  to go job hunting!

Let us begin.

Step One: Make a Good Impression
Someone our age always needs to enter interviews or first meetings as professionally as possible because we often aren't taken seriously. Here are some tips to ensure that your potential employer knows how stellar you are.

• Say "um," just, like, all the time.
• Same with "like." 
• Chew gum. 
• Tell them your skills include hair, makeup, and attitude. (Snap fingers in Z fashion after.)
• Shake hands, but with the limpest grip possible
• Ask if you can smoke in their office. Bring a cigarette holder Ala Audrey, as they are the classiest of smoking accessories. 

Step Two: Build Your Resume
Google it.

Step 3: Confidence

As a twenty-something myself, I have quite a few confidence issues. Never fear! There's a trick that I was taught long ago that helps me perk up right before an important first meeting:

Wear the tightest, shortest, sluttiest outfit you own.

Who doesn't feel confident in stripper shoes and ho-gloss? Glitter is key. Shirt optional. 

Well, there ya go! I hope you get an interview soon so you can try my awesome tips! And remember, if you're nervous, picture the interviewer naked. Then also get naked. 

LOVE!
- Bowman

CurRANT eVENTS!

Bowsquat,

I bet by the title you thought i would have something really scandalous and big to rant and or vent about....well...you would be wrong. twas a play on words and i have only mediocre things to discuss. If you want to use the word "discuss" more like ...i'm going to put sentences together...into one semi coherent thought..on a few topics that i randomly find on CNN, Yahoo, and maybe Facebook. hahaha!

Her goes Nuthin.

Apparently a teacher got killed with a box cutter recently. Which is awful. However.....the non specific idea of a box cutter is coming up on BB...which you will understand soon enough. So..yea..

Obamacare...all i can say is....you guessed it.. THANKS OBAMA!!

Kim and Kanye are engaged....who gives a flying monkey crap?!

Megan Fox says that she is completely insecure with her physical appearance....but totally confident with her personality.....this seems backwards. Also...stfu, you're gorgeous...so stop making the rest of us feel like giant orca whales!

IF I SEE ONE MORE THING ABOUT BREAKING BAD IM GONNA KILL EVERYONE!!

The new 50 Shades of Grey actor was named. I still dont see how that won't just be a justified theatrical porno.

ANCHORMAN 2!!

Apparently...eating an Original Yoplait Yogurt is the equivalent of eating 3 donuts. What is the world?!

I still have yet to watch any Once Upon a Time, and i am ashamed.

Ok....thats all i got. I hope this informed you on the life going on around us. And you definitely do not need to know anymore news than what i mentioned....cause...there is nothing more important...i touched all the essential stuff. So. Yea.

Yay for being 2 days late....not on my period though...that just ended.

BYEEEE!!!

Mandom Random.

First things first: BOOKS! I have this awful argument in my head between books and my wallet. A dialogue:

BOOKS: Buy me, Bowman! We'll love you forever! We'll see you through the hard times, and the good ones. We'll make you laugh, cry, and scream within the turn of a few pages! We'll be there on the bus, in the waiting room, at bedtime, and on the porch with morning coffee. Isn't that nice?

WALLET: Shut up, hoez! I is money, and I is rare!

ME: You win this round, Wallet. You cheeky bastard.

Fin.

I really wanted this one:

...but it was $25.00. So I got two others for $10 instead. Someday, Coco. Someday. 

Nextly, (and because of grumpy old Wallet) I have decided to keep track of expenditures and consumption this week. This event may prove to be thoroughly depressing. I shall update you next week if I remember. 

Next Nextly, the aforementioned opera (Remember? From last week?) was a huge success! 'Twas a grand performance, and I even got to shoot the breeze with fancy ladies and gents in the guest party room. Plus free wine! CLASS!

Lastly, I got a new bedspread! How exciting! When will the excitement cease? Probably never. My life rules.

- Bowman

Ryan Reynolds is not gay.

Bowshart,


So, whilst typing this i am watching Family Guy, so don't be surprised if some quotes make there way into this post. 

Peter and Ryan Reynolds are having a tickle fight. 

 This next week is gonna be busy i think. We are starting a new technique in printmaking...carving out of linoleum and woodblocks. So...that should be interesting. "Sometimes i put them on and think i'm all balls". I have no clue what i am going to carve out of these things. The art department can be stressful...having to constantly come up with ideas. Then again, maybe you can somewhat relate to that, cause you have to come up with different creative ways to teach your kids what they need to know...so....you kinda know what its like. Yay! Stressed Creative People Unite!!

"Go get 'em child" (black lady at the airport).

I made Amber wear pretty dresses today and take pictures...so that was fun! She said she had more fun than she thought she would have..so..i'll believe her. haha!

"There are some things i would do with you...but my heart wouldnt be in it.".

"My spirit could go up inside your energy".

I have started reading Eleanor and Park! I should be really good..i've heard only great things about it! Its told from two different perspectives! 

I pretty much layed in bed all weekend/yesterday. It was lovely. Those are my ideal days...just chilling at home in pjs...snuggling with pets, drinking coffee/tea, watching amazing movies..etc. All day. So lazy...but so great!

So...i'm not sure why the last paragraph was instant on having a background color...but...i'm just gonna go with it. 

"The little engine that WILL or get great shame".

Well...i have nothing else to report...so....

BYEEEEE!!!!


Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaant!!!!!!

10 Things I've Done Instead of Getting Ready (In pictures!)

'Tis a day of packing, for I shall be traversing the rugged plains of I40 Eastbound this fine afternoon. Why is my speech so fancy, you may ask? well, I may answer, "I must make an appearance at the opera this evening. Clearly, I am one cultured biatch!" ...would the rich say "biatch?"

Whatever. David is in a production of The Pearl Fishers tonight at TPAC, so I have to pack up and look all nice and crap. Only, I don't feel like getting off my lazy arse to prepare for the journey. Instead I did this:

1.Contemplated making bed.

Didn't.

2. COFFEE!

Necessary.

 3. Got mad at Polly for being in the way.

She was indignant. 

 4. Vlogbrothers.

Hank.

5. Was leered at by my own pets.

Weirdos.

6. Wondered why I look so darn good in the mornings.

Genetics.

7. Wished Polly could use the toilet.

Useless.

 8. Looked at laundry.

Did not begin packing.

9. Broke favorite necklace whilst reaching into the washer. 

Took picture of it on bad backdrop.

10. Came up with brilliant plan.

Made millions.

Maybe I'll pack later.

- Bowman

10 ways The Office has made me the happiest.

Bowfarts,


We just finished The Office!! And what a beautiful experience it was indeed! My life will never be the same. Dont you love how overly dramatic I'm being?! But seriously..my life is a bit better because of the perfection that is that show. Here is my list from the content that is the title of this blog:


1. The underlying theme of hope throughout the show. You can get anything you ever wanted if you work hard enough...or you are just lucky enough. ha!

2. Michael Scott and his inappropriateness as well as his heart and loveableness.

3. "That's what she said".

4. Jim and Pam's most adorable love story ever!

5. Jim's constant acknowledgment and smirks at the camera.

6. Pranks/nonscence galor!

7. Kevin's most awkward and hilarious was of speaking.

8. The amazing balance of heart and humor.

9. The subtle humor....it takes a special personality to appreciate it...and thank God we are special......ha!

10. The most PERFECT series finale EVER CREATED!!! (In addition to Friends...)


I could go on...with some very specific and not so general things...but....i will stop.
Love. This. Show.

(This picture is our friendship. hahahahaha!) Toodalou!

Current Events, Shmurrent Events!

Hey, look! It's Sunday! I am a failure at weekly blogging. 

Moving on, this week's theme is CURRENT EVENTS! Can't get more current than a current government shutdown! 

Don't worry. I won't bore you with my opinions on the fact that food stamps are still available while military pension gets delayed. And I won't talk your ear off about the fact that I can't renew my passport, so leaving the country is a "no." And I won't even go on forever about the fact that WIC is cancelled during this shindig, even though the president still gets his $400,000 this year. No, no. I shall keep it to myself. 

I shall leave you only with this: 

Courtesy of /r/harrypotter :-).

Love, 

Bowman

Events that are current.

Hi Ho,


Week 3! Current Events! And i dont mean events about currents...like water currents. So...if you were hoping to read about water current events....just turn back now! This is will be about events happening in the world right now. Like how Blue Ivy prefers Jay Zs music over Bee-Yawn-Say. Obviously being 18 months old, she is totally able to make this clear decision. So...on that note...lets get down and dirty.

Dumb and Dumber news!! "The Blind Kid" is back in the new movie! I love how some of the original cast is back for this movie! So great! Billy is all grown up now...still...blind..and still with his pretty bird!

http://omg.yahoo.com/blogs/celeb-news/dumb-dumber-blind-billy-back-grown-194002706.html?vp=1


Gravity News!!!  It comes out this friday! So you better be ready for 5 min long shots, beautiful visuals, and crap in your pants!! SO EXCITED!!!

http://www.theverge.com/2013/10/1/4788682/gravity-review


Lastly, cause i am all about talking about the most important stuff going on in the world (i'll try again in 4 weeks)...DIY BRIDES! Pippa, the sister of the Kate Middleton, wants to be one and so do I! Holy crap, these are some of the cutest ideas ever! Putting flowers in ice, flowers in lightbulbs, flowers in sheet music....FLOWERRRRRS! So are key invitations and candles in teacups! SO CUTE! I hope i get married before you....I am obviously well on my way!

Welp...thats all on todays episode of "Becca talks about nothing".

BREAK NEWS!!!!! THE OFFICE SEASON NINE IS NOW ON NETFLIX!! AND I AM ABOUT TO TEXT YOU ABOUT IT...BUT YOU MIGHT ALREADY KNOW...BUT I DONT CARE...IM TOO EXCITED!!!!

K BYEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!