How to Be an Adult

My, oh, my. I feel as though I could ace any test in the world! Thanks for that help! Maybe I should teach my students your study methods...

Speaking of students, you know what almost every kid wants? To be an adult. Know who's good at being an adult? ME! I shall elaborate in 5 simple steps.

1. Money - One of the most grown-up things you can do is manage money wisely. Some people make budgets, cash allowances, and debit caps. Me? I say, "screw you, real life! I want a jet ski!" I don't want a jet ski because I'm afraid of water, but if I did... you get it.

2. Family - Being a real adult and all, I can tell you one thing: I love my children. Not human ones of course, but the hairy kind. Canines... DOGS to the layperson. I'm not married. I don't have kids. I have dogs. I am very qualified to give advice on this topic.

3. Hobbies - Think of something really adult. Cooking, perhaps? Sewing? Oprah's book club? Those are great hobbies. I have a few of my own, namely dressing as characters from Japanese anime shows with other grown people and spending money on hats shaped like frogs. Another hobby I enjoy is climbing big rocks in a huge gorge, even though I'm afraid of heights and the aforementioned water. The point is, do something fun and obnoxiously mention it to every person you meet.

4. Responsible Decisions - Ever since I was little, I knew that growing up would allow me to stay up late and eat cake for breakfast. I was right.

5. Social Awareness - As an adult, one should always read social cues correctly. For example: when someone turns his/her body away from you in conversation, move in front of them so they can't get away. This makes them feel secure in their conversational abilities. Also, talk really close to their faces. Really, really close.

Go forth and prosper, fledgling grown-up! Keep the steps in mind. And one last helpful hint - whenever a situation gets awkward, sing and dance. In public. Without warning.

KBYE!

- Bowman

How to fail a test.

Bowfat,

As you well know...i had a test this afternoon. I am not sure how it went, but...i don't think it went too well. I left some answers blank...and i pulled a whole page and half essay straight out of my ass. So....i'm in the acceptance stage of my potential failure. That being said....here are some ways that I've discovered, from personal experience duh, on how to fail a test!

1. Of course wait till the last minute to study. The best time to study is the day before the test. This way you ensure that you will barely remember any detailed information that you need to know, and you will only remember some key words for which you can possibly, but probably not, make a coherent sentence out of. (like ending a sentence in a proposition!).

2. Make SURE you watch tv while you study! Especially something that you have seen before and can totally quote! This way you will be completely distracted from actually studying and retaining the information. Even though you keep telling yourself: "ive seen this a million times...i can just listen to it and still concentrate on what im doing." We both know this is a lie and you start writing down the quotes you are saying from said movie distraction. Also...DEFINITELY watch tv whilst trying to read for a test! 

3. Be sure to make every excuse in the book not to study...or to convince yourself that you have studied enough to get by. "I need to take a shower", "Just one more episode of Secret Life", "Its 12 o'clock, time for lunch, even though i ate breakfast at 10", "This wont be on the test....its too detailed....i just wont look at it". All of these are great excuses and are completely justifiable! So...dont beat yourself up!

4. Make sure you get no more than 4 hours of sleep the night before the test. And also make sure you dont eat a healthy breakfast the day of the test. Actually...just dont eat anything at all....all day. Both of these can contribute to a very hazy state of mind, and can also help with not being able to remember something on the test that you just looked over 2 minutes before! It can also make your vision a little blurry...which can just add your goal you made at the beginning of the year to challenge yourself more! And is can be fun for the teacher to read later!

5. Lastly, but certainly not leastly, just have fun, accept your fate, and realize you did your best. The teacher will for sure appreciate a half assed effort! They all say put in 110%, but who has time for that?! While you're busy watching your favorite tv shows, laughing with your best friends whilst watching The Emmys, and basically just being made completely joyful through the magic of television in general...all the squares you call peers can waste their time studying for a test in which they dont give 2 shits about the information anyway. And why bother yourself with things you dont care about or that take too much effort? That is all kinds of lame!

So, these are my 5 tips on how to fail a test! I know you can't use them in your own life now....being a real life working adult and all. BUT, maybe you can pass them along to your students! I dont think they will argue with you! Happy bad teachering!!

I should be an educator,
Cobb. 

Planning Period! ...gross

It's the end of my planning period. Sadface.

So guess what I did? Signed myself up for another responsibility! Go me! I'm a self-detriment machine!
I said I'd help make up a dance for Boys Cheerleading for homecoming. Which means I get to spend 10 minutes of my Science class teaching a dance to 11 year old boys, so... great.

I like the idea of theme week. I think we should have a list theme. Example: top ten times I almost flipped someone off in traffic this month. Or top twelve most inappropriate songs on the radio. What do you think? Not that I care.

- Bowman

Late for class and theme ideas!!

BOWMAN!

We wont do the whole caps lock screaming congo (i meant convo....but ill leave it. ha!) on here....it might be too much for all 2 of our readers!

Anywhoha, i was an hour and a half late for class this morning! So thats fun! I am a dedicated student...i even took my time getting ready...which made me so late...cause i am completely concerned with my future as a punctual human.

this Drake song it playing in my head (on the pandora machine), and the beat is cool...and combined with the CONSTANT buzzing and blinking of the light above my head in the lighting studio....it makes  for a cool...yet...suicide inducing collaboration! More fun for today!!

This class is a little too laid back....which i am not complaining...but i mean I'm writing this to you in class for craps sake. But only one person can take pictures at a time..cause we are working on a new technique....but you dont give any of the shits so...i won't continue to move my fingers in an attempt to explain said technique.

I mixed my cereals this morning....Krave and Lucky Charms.....so..

We need to find a more organized way to make these bloggies.. Like...themes like DG! Like....4 themes a month.! Like....one week can be random (thats me today)....the next week we can explain to the other person how to do something.....the next can be current events...and the last can be.......you come up with it! ha!  And Tuesday can be my day apparently....since....today is that day...and this is happening right now. so...there we go. ORGAN-ZATION! ha!

"its our party...we can do what we want!"  ....that songs on now. can i get a HELL NO?!

So.....i will let my contribution to random week be donzo now... WEEE!


you're the worst,
Cobb

And look, it's a bat!

'Ello, 'ello, 'ello, V-E, 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello. ELLO, GUV'NAH!

Well, that was satisfyingly obnoxious. I hope we don't get sued for copyright infringement! HEY-O!
Ah, the good ol' days of autumnal bliss in Starbucks, listening to hipster-esque playlists and being PSL hags. Making life threats in public and possibly having strangers think we're total idiots. Those were good days... today.

Anywho.... I hate that word. I also hate "morsel." That's gross. I will end anyone's life who says otherwise. I might have ADD.... SAIILLL!!!!

Well, now no one else will give two entire dookies about reading this particular post. Sorry, other potential reading babies! If you are ever confused as to who wrote a post, just ask yourself, "is the writer of this post potentially drunk and/or 11 years old?" If you answered "yes," it's a Bowman post. You're welcome.

Hugs, cuddles, and awkward half-hugs in public,
- Bowman

The mental notes are stacking!!!

Bowman...

So....we just created a blog! Will this live up to our expectations?....mydontknow....BUT....its worth a shot in the dark right?! We can hank and john it up on here.....though....who is hank and who is john? ill be john since i have the brown hair....not because he is more famous.....ha! maybe our friends will read this and it will make their day....or maybe strangers will read this and hate our guts....either way....i could give a rats poopy. Mad libs are a fun time!! so lets do this thang.....and remember to keep all our maps, tampon registration, and insurance pills in our glove stocking!

you're a whore,
Cobb.