Speaking of students, you know what almost every kid wants? To be an adult. Know who's good at being an adult? ME! I shall elaborate in 5 simple steps.
1. Money - One of the most grown-up things you can do is manage money wisely. Some people make budgets, cash allowances, and debit caps. Me? I say, "screw you, real life! I want a jet ski!" I don't want a jet ski because I'm afraid of water, but if I did... you get it.
2. Family - Being a real adult and all, I can tell you one thing: I love my children. Not human ones of course, but the hairy kind. Canines... DOGS to the layperson. I'm not married. I don't have kids. I have dogs. I am very qualified to give advice on this topic.
3. Hobbies - Think of something really adult. Cooking, perhaps? Sewing? Oprah's book club? Those are great hobbies. I have a few of my own, namely dressing as characters from Japanese anime shows with other grown people and spending money on hats shaped like frogs. Another hobby I enjoy is climbing big rocks in a huge gorge, even though I'm afraid of heights and the aforementioned water. The point is, do something fun and obnoxiously mention it to every person you meet.
4. Responsible Decisions - Ever since I was little, I knew that growing up would allow me to stay up late and eat cake for breakfast. I was right.
5. Social Awareness - As an adult, one should always read social cues correctly. For example: when someone turns his/her body away from you in conversation, move in front of them so they can't get away. This makes them feel secure in their conversational abilities. Also, talk really close to their faces. Really, really close.
Go forth and prosper, fledgling grown-up! Keep the steps in mind. And one last helpful hint - whenever a situation gets awkward, sing and dance. In public. Without warning.
KBYE!
- Bowman
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