I have actually been looking at this and thinking about it lately. I don't read horoscopes, but I do look up what mine is about sometimes. And mine....doesn't fit me.
I am an Aries. March 21 - April 19
My birthday is March 22.
I have looked into my sign, and it does not describe me very well.
I am just going to copy and paste here....so...
Aries Strength Keywords:
- Independent
- Generous - true
- Optimistic
- Enthusiastic
- Courageous
Aries Weakness Keywords:
- Moody - true sometimes
- Short tempered
- Self-involved
- Impulsive
- Impatient - true
"Aries is the first of the zodiac signs. Aries is the sign of the self, people born under this sign strongly project their personalities onto others and can be very self-oriented. Aries tend to venture out into the world and leave impressions on others that they are exciting, vibrant and talkative. Aries tend to live adventurous lives and like to be the center of attention, but rightly so since they are natural, confident leaders. Aries are enthusiastic about their goals and enjoy the thrill of the hunt, "wanting is always better then getting" is a good way to sum it up. Aries are very impulsive and usually do not think before they act - or speak. Too often Aries will say whatever pops into their head and usually end up regretting it later!"
Eh....not really me. I do not have a strong personality, at least not with everyone I meet. I have never considered myself a leader of any kind. I HATE being the center of attention. I am not very impulsive, cause I think wayyy too much.
Sounds nice though! I guess?
I have always thought I relate more to a Pisces!
Pisces Strength Keywords:
- Compassionate - true
- Adaptable
- Accepting
- Devoted - true
- Imaginative - true
Pisces Weakness Keywords:
- Oversensitive - true
- Indecisive - true
- Self-pitying - true
- Lazy - true
- Escapist -true
"Pisces needs a dominant partner of role model in their life or they will very easily fall into a pit of self-pity and self-undoing. When they are independent and inspired by life's events, their creativity comes shining through but they are unable to be on their own for long before they start dreaming in their imaginary world of happy people and happy endings. Pisces does not take well to a position of leadership or high business person, they are too sensitive and lacking in self-discipline and lacking self-confidence for a positions such as that. They trust their gut feelings and if they do not, they quickly learn to because they realize that their hunches are usually correct. Pisces downfall is their sensitivity and their inability to reject another person. They do not like rejection and they try to treat others the way they want to be treated so they will rarely say no to a person for fear of hurting their feelings. "
All Truth!!!
There ya go..
- Cobb
Wednesday, September 30, 2015
30DWC - DAY 16 - Something I miss...
There are actually many things I have been missing lately, so I am just going to list them all. Deal with it!! And it's about to get really real.
1. Us all hanging out all the time - I was thinking the other day about the all-nighter we had. All of us were over my house and we all stayed up the entire night playing games, laughing, talking, watching movies, and then we all made breakfast together the next morning. That was so so fun. I wish I had taken photos of that night. I miss us all hanging out all the time and being there for each other. I miss when we went over to that house that Ashelynn was house sitting in. We went night swimming almost every night that week. And cooked and talked and played games. So great!
2. Spencer - I'm not gonna lie to you, Bowshart, I do miss Spencer sometimes. How he used to be. How I felt about him. The potential I saw there. I miss picturing a future with him, cause I did. Feeling the way I did about him really gave me hope and helped me keep my faith in love when my whole world was falling apart with my parents and everything. He kept my hope alive, and he didn't even know it. :/
(Spencer, if you ever actually read these blog posts, and you come across this one in particular....Surprise! Ha! Hope you don't feel super weird...)
3. My family - I miss my family being a family. I miss my parents being together. Every single day I miss it. And I think back on all the good times we had as a family and it all went by so fast. I feel like I took it for granted, and I had no idea I was. Cause I NEVER expected for any of this to happen. They may have not been happy, but....I was.
4. Being a child - I miss being carefree. I miss playing with toys. I miss playing make believe with my friends. I miss not being self conscience about my body. I miss putting on a swim suit and not even thinking about how I looked. I miss acting out movies in the middle of my living room. I miss talking to my friends on the phone for hours. I miss not being worried about what I was gonna do for the rest of my life and just living in the now. Kids don't think about that stuff. They just focus on watching their favorite shows and learning how to blow the perfect bubblegum bubble. I miss believing the world was good and safe and that I could be anything that I wanted to be. Cause now everything is so scary and frustrating and confusing. I hate that.
5. I miss having grandparents....
I guess that is about it for now. Now that I have thoroughly depressed you. Ha!
- Cobb
1. Us all hanging out all the time - I was thinking the other day about the all-nighter we had. All of us were over my house and we all stayed up the entire night playing games, laughing, talking, watching movies, and then we all made breakfast together the next morning. That was so so fun. I wish I had taken photos of that night. I miss us all hanging out all the time and being there for each other. I miss when we went over to that house that Ashelynn was house sitting in. We went night swimming almost every night that week. And cooked and talked and played games. So great!
2. Spencer - I'm not gonna lie to you, Bowshart, I do miss Spencer sometimes. How he used to be. How I felt about him. The potential I saw there. I miss picturing a future with him, cause I did. Feeling the way I did about him really gave me hope and helped me keep my faith in love when my whole world was falling apart with my parents and everything. He kept my hope alive, and he didn't even know it. :/
(Spencer, if you ever actually read these blog posts, and you come across this one in particular....Surprise! Ha! Hope you don't feel super weird...)
3. My family - I miss my family being a family. I miss my parents being together. Every single day I miss it. And I think back on all the good times we had as a family and it all went by so fast. I feel like I took it for granted, and I had no idea I was. Cause I NEVER expected for any of this to happen. They may have not been happy, but....I was.
4. Being a child - I miss being carefree. I miss playing with toys. I miss playing make believe with my friends. I miss not being self conscience about my body. I miss putting on a swim suit and not even thinking about how I looked. I miss acting out movies in the middle of my living room. I miss talking to my friends on the phone for hours. I miss not being worried about what I was gonna do for the rest of my life and just living in the now. Kids don't think about that stuff. They just focus on watching their favorite shows and learning how to blow the perfect bubblegum bubble. I miss believing the world was good and safe and that I could be anything that I wanted to be. Cause now everything is so scary and frustrating and confusing. I hate that.
5. I miss having grandparents....
I guess that is about it for now. Now that I have thoroughly depressed you. Ha!
- Cobb
30DWC Day 17 - Does My Zodiac Sign Fit Me?
My sign is Virgo.
According to ganeshaspeaks.com, which I have never hear of before now, I am:
According to ganeshaspeaks.com, which I have never hear of before now, I am:
- an introvert (sort of true)
- witty (sure)
- wise (eh... arguable)
- well-spoken (this is actually accurate)
Apparently, I also help people solve their problems. Sounds like me.
However, it also says I "don't sugar coat things... tell it like it is!" This could not be more false! I am the sugariest sugar-coater this side of Candy Land! I don't like to hurt people's feelings, so will almost downright lie to people to make them happy. This is not a good quality.
Here's the thing: I think horoscopes and the zodiac are a load of crap. All of the signs contain characteristics that are true and not true for everyone. So, of course people identify with their sign. If you really consider what they say, you can identify with them all.
Not to be Super Extreme Bible Girl or anything, but the Bible legit warns us to stay away from stuff like that. It all goes back to worshiping creation over the Creator. There are several verses on this topic: Daniel 2:27, 1 John 4:1, Isaiah 47:13, etc. The Bible actually mentions this a lot. A big example is in Leviticus:
"I will also turn against those who commit spiritual prostitution by putting their trust in mediums or in those who consult the spirits of the dead. I will cut them off from the community."
Lev. 20:6
He puts these "mediums" in the same category as astrologers and stargazers. The point is, putting your actual faith in this kind of thing is dangerous. I mean, if God Himself says he will cut someone off from His community, it's real serious.
Again, I don't mean to be uber extreme or anything (and I know most people just do horoscopes for fun), but anything God feels that strongly about probably shouldn't be toyed around with.
- Bowman
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
30DW - Day 16 - Something I Miss
Look at us! We're over halfway there! Halfway there! Halfway there! (That's a Spongebob reference. I'm a winner.)
Okay, so today's topic is Something You Miss. This was so difficult to pin down because I am extremely sentimental when it comes to memories, but I finally decided on one thing.
I miss college. The entire experience of it. That first taste of freedom. Choosing class schedules. The whole shebang.
I was not cool in high school. I know. Big shocker. I basically hated all 4 years of it... but then, college came along.
I had a blast! It's where I met some of my best friends, it's where I met David, it's where I began to find myself and make mistakes and learn responsibility.
I also miss the fact that I could (and did) play a lead in 5 shows at one time, never once regretting the over-booking of my free time. I miss that theater experience so badly. I miss performing.
I don't think I live in the past because that isn't a healthy way to do life, but still, if I could go back and redo one part of my life exactly the same, it would be my time at Bethel.
- Bowman
Okay, so today's topic is Something You Miss. This was so difficult to pin down because I am extremely sentimental when it comes to memories, but I finally decided on one thing.
I miss college. The entire experience of it. That first taste of freedom. Choosing class schedules. The whole shebang.
I was not cool in high school. I know. Big shocker. I basically hated all 4 years of it... but then, college came along.
I had a blast! It's where I met some of my best friends, it's where I met David, it's where I began to find myself and make mistakes and learn responsibility.
I also miss the fact that I could (and did) play a lead in 5 shows at one time, never once regretting the over-booking of my free time. I miss that theater experience so badly. I miss performing.
I don't think I live in the past because that isn't a healthy way to do life, but still, if I could go back and redo one part of my life exactly the same, it would be my time at Bethel.
- Bowman
30DWC - DAY 15 - Bullet pointing my whoooole day!
This was fun to do, I'm not gonna lie. Couldn't do it everyday though. A lot to keep up with. Ha!
Here we go.... September 28, 2015
- Alarm went off at 7am.
- Got up at 8am.
- Wondered why Family Guy had played all the way through the night, again.
- Brushed hair.
- Put hair in a bun
- Attempted to be cute and put scarf in my hair, but quickly realized that neck scarves don't work as head scarves.
- Turned on The Office.
- Emptied the dishwasher.
- Emptied the sink, and put dirty dishes in the dishwasher.
- Felt good that I did something productive and helpful before going to work.
- Fed meowing, hungry cats.
- Wondered why all my clothes freaking smell weird.
- Maybe I shouldn't leave them in my floor....maybe hang them up?
- Tumbled clothes after spraying them with Febreeze.
- Picked up a hairball vomit on the carpet.
- Got dressed.
- Did makeup.
- Left house at about 9:04.
- Drove/Listened to Sia album!
- Got a 4 count mini and orange juice from Chick-fil-a.
- Thought about tattoos. (Not chick-fil-a ones, just in general).
- Got to work.
- Went inside.
- Opened the studio.
- Listened to boss complain about HER boss.
- Told a walk-in to come back at 11:20.
- Checked in 10:40 appt.
- Set up for 4 month old twins.
- Had trouble getting them posed.
- Got flustered and frustrated in my own head.
- Tried to make them laugh.
- Was not successful.
- Blew in baby's face to calm her down.
- It worked!
- Didn't feel that great about how the session went.
- Did the best I could.
- Surprisingly sold them a full album cd and some sheets. They spent about $130. Whaa?
- Photographed a 3 year old and a 1 year old.
- They were crazy hyper.
- Had to be quick.
- Sold their grandma some sheets.
- Went to the bathroom after holding it for 2 hours.
- Felt better.
- Listened to a woman in the next stall pee, go wash hands, THEN remember to flush the toilet.
- Started to make this list around 12:30. Had to remember everything up until this point. I think I did a pretty good job!
- It's 12:55.
- Just answered some questions from someone who was here yesterday. Her mom came with her.
- Laughed out loud from a text my mom sent me.
- Received an email on my phone.
- Was disappointed when it wasn't one I was expecting.
- Watched an ItsGrace video saying that she is taking a break from the internet this week.
- Didn't blame her.
- Read your comments from my last 3 blogs.
- Responded to one of them "It's Janice!"
- Spelled "read" like "red"
- Wondered if I will be here until close like I am scheduled for. Because Elizabeth is supposed to be here at 4. I have not told her otherwise, because that is not my responsibility.
- Seeing everyone's posts about that lunar eclipse last night.
- Jealous I couldn't see anything. Damn clouds!
- Spelled "Clouds" like "Clounds"
- Cleaned up mess in camera room.
- Stared into space long enough for my eyes to cross.
- Heard someone in the JCP sneeze 5 times in a row.
- Watched a MirandaSings video of her "pranking"people.
- Wondered why I had glitter on my shirt.
- Realized it was from the 4 month old baby girl's dress.
- Yawned, then burped.
- Scheduled an appt for Saturday for a 6 year old birthday.
- Found a flat pencil in a drawer.
- Wondered what to eat for lunch in 20 mins.
- Read over my list so far to see how interesting this will be for you to read.
- Put Tangled in the dvd player so it wasn't so Godawful quiet in here.
- 10 mins till lunch.
- I think I will get Wendy's for lunch.
- 5 mins till lunch.
- Left for lunch at 2.
- Missed a call from a guy named Peter from a studio I called last Friday to see if they were hiring. (Creation Studios)
- Called him back whilst walking around in the men's department.
- Forgot my URL for my website when he asked for it.
- Felt like like an idiot.
- Got a burger and fries and a frosty from Wendy's
- Saw that they did my burger wrong and it had all the crap on it when i asked for ketchup only!
- UGH!!
- Realized I forgot a spoon for my frosty.
- UUGHHHHH!!!!!
- Ate my feelings. Only ate the bottom part of my burger. (meat, cheese, and bottom bun).
- 10 mins till work starts again.
- Still feeling stupid from that phone call.
- Let it go, Rebecca. It's not the end of the world.
- Came back from lunch. Technically, I just sat in the studio floor watching Tangled while I ate.
- Fiddle farted on my phone, texted some people.
- Wishing I could go home.
- Realized my chipped thumbnail paint looks like a small tree or leaf.
- Sent you a photo of said thumb paint.
- Rescheduled a lady's appt from tomorrow to Wednesday.
- Found out from my boss I get to leave at 5!!!
- Gave you a quote from Friends, and called you a dumb shit when you didn't know that it was from.
- Got your text with the correct answer, after writing down that last entry. TeeHee!
- It's 4:27, Elizabeth still isn't here. So now I'm probably staying. Doubt she is coming.
- Called Elizabeth, she didn't know she was scheduled, so now I have to stay. GAHH!!
- Walked around the store to pull someone in for a session.
- Didn't even ask anyone because I couldn't find a shit to give.
- Watched another MirandaSings video.
- Planned out how I am going to photograph my last session coming in at 6:20.
- Hopefully it goes well.
- Looked up what exactly happens during a "blood moon" eclipse.
- Went to the bathroom again. Had to wait forever for the trash guy to get out of the bathroom.
- Came back to the studio to find my 6:20 appt waiting.
- The shoot went really well!! I was very happy with it!
- Sold to her. She loved the photos!
- Closed everything down.
- Had to go get change for the register.
- Sent my boss photos of the photos I took during that last session, and the template sheet I used for them.
- She loved them!!
- Feels a little good to make your boss proud.
- Clocked the shiz outta there!
- Walked to my car in the dark.
- Was glad other people were in the parking lot and that the security guy was driving by.
- Don't wanna get kidnapped.
- Felt good about that last session. It made the whole day worth it.
- Everything happens for a reason.
- Called mom to talk about our days.
- Realized my voice was starting to sound a little horse.
- Decided I was going to stop at Sonic for dinner. Corndogs!
- Got to Sonic.
- Remembered they had those boneless flavored wings again.
- Exclaimed "balls yes wings!"
- Eff Corndogs!
- Ordered said wings and a brownie cake with extra fudge.
- Started making these notes in my phone so as not to forget anything before I got home.
- Got my food. The girl said she "knew it was me".
- Told me she gets extra fudge too because the brownies are cold.
- I wondered how she "knew it was me".
- Thought "maybe I come to Sonic too much.."
- Heard a Scream Queens tv show ad on the radio. Wondered what the huge deal is.
- Heard new Macklemore song on the radio about liking big girls and tiramisu.
- Got home.
- My mommy bought my some new socks!
- Watched a routine on Dancing with the Stars based on the Breaking bad theme song. It was cool!
- Made some ramen noodles to go with my chicken wings!
- Finished off the chipotle chille pepper spice after having it for about 2 and a half years.
- Saw a commercial for the movie Spy coming out tomorrow on Bluray! YASSSS!
- Turned the channel to the recent Evil Dead movie.
- Told mom what movie was about and described certain graphic scenes.
- She was not impressed.
- Then turned the channel to Titanic. Which based on yesterdays blog, I thought was appropriate.
- Wondered when the Wright Brothers invented the airplane.
- Twas around 1907. A few years before the Titanic sank in 1912.
- I still can't comprehend how a massive boat can float on water.
- Or how a plane stays flying through the air.
- What is Science?!
- Sang to Sasha about how pretty she is.
- Turned the channel to the movie "Her".
- "Sometimes I think I have felt everything I am ever going to feel. And from here on out I'm not gonna feel anything new. Just lesser versions of what I've already felt."
- Decided I'm too lazy to wash my face.
- But I flossed and brushed my teeth.
- Went potty.
- Spritzed some of my Shania Twain perfume on myself.
- Got in bed.
- Turned my laptop on.
- My desktop background is better than yours!
- Went to Netflix
- Turned on The Office.
- It's the episode with the surplus. A new copier or new chairs?! hmm.
- Watched Todric Hall's "Titaniqua" on Youtube (look it up!)
- Took my pill.
- Flipped through my Darling Magazine, but' didn't read anything.
- Looked at my work schedule for tomorrow just to make sure I wasn't scheduled.
- I wont be needed.
- That its the BEST feeling.
- Made sure my alarm was NOT set.
- Looked at the weather for tomorrow.
- It's supposed to rain a lot of the day.
- I hope it does.
- Layed down and just watched The Office.
- It's 11:04pm.
- So the new Nickelodeon channel called The Splat is going to be playing all 90s tv shows from 10pm-6am starting very soon! And we know what shows they will be showing! And it is beautiful!
- How badly we need to pull an all nighter at least once to experience this!
- Took a Disney quiz.
- Switched Netflix to Family Guy.
- Went to sleepy town.
- Cobb
- This is my desktop back ground by the way, It wouldn't let me post the picture above.
Monday, September 28, 2015
30DWC Day 15 - Bullet Point of My Day
I'm trying to do this as I go because I'll forget later. I tried this the other day, though, and I forgot halfway through. I'm only telling you this because you'll probably see it as a Draft all day in the Posts section.
Okay, my whole day on Monday, September 28, 2015 (excluding boring details):
- Woke up in the morning, feeling absolutely nothing like P. Diddy, at 6:00. This is much later than I intended to wake up.
- Took the dogs outside and put Monster in her crate so she didn't bleed all over the effing place. (Note: she is experiencing the joys of womanhood; she is not injured)
- Put on the tiniest amount of makeup I could get away with without looking funknasty.
- Dry shampoo the hair and put it up in a (surprisingly cute) ponytail.
- Get dressed - work as hard as possible to look precious so people don't notice I haven't washed my hair. I think it's working.
- Teach one class from 7:40-9:29, which is the longest freaking time ever for a 12 year old to sit down. Thank God it's Library day.
- Literally thank God that this is Library day.
- Begin writing this during Planning Period from 9:34-10:23. (P.S. It's totally bobes that I have to teach three 100 minute classes, but still only get the 50 minute planning like everyone else.)
- Take a break from blogging to write a stellar lesson plan for Friday, my first principal observation. Simultaneously, worry a lot about said observation.
- Quit writing lesson plan because I ran out of ideas. Going great so far...
- Healthy lunch (surprisingly)
- Got annoyed with middle block class because they're ridiculously loud. What do you expect, though, when you put 29 6th graders in a 25X25 room?
- Thank God that it's Library day... again.
- Teach middle block from 11:00-12:51 (once again ruing the day that they decided to give us these long-ass classes).
- Teach last block from 12:55-2:40 and continue wondering who the HELL thought this time block was a good idea.
- Did I mention thanking God for Library day?
- Leave school (hallelujah!)
- Talk to the lady from my Student Loan provider (ooh! Adult!) and decide to go on deferment until December (ooh! Idiot!)
- Realize how much the Lord is blessing me right now. (I recently got a free washer and an oven for $125, and now I can pause payment on my loans. Financial blessing is always welcome, but I know it's only happening so I can do something good with the money I save.)
- Get home and take dogs out.
- Seriously consider going for a run, but then think, "Why TF would I do that when I can sit on the couch for ten minutes and eat cake?!"
- Head to Goodwill to buy small props for Little Shop
- Two Goodwill stores and a Dirt Cheap trip later, and I still don't have a whole lot of props.
- Stop at Popeye's, and regret it instantly. (My tongue loves it, but my tummy wants to kill me.)
- Get home.
- Take the dogs out and feed them.
- Watch a documentary.
- Wash face/brush teeth/take shower
- A little light reading.
- BED.
- Bowman
Sunday, September 27, 2015
30DWC - DAY 14 - Movies I never get tired of watching!
I love thinking about this question, cause I ADORE movies, but this is also one of the hardest questions for me to answer! I barely know what my favorite movie is anymore! But, I will lead with that one, and the rest are in no particular order. These were also chosen based on the fact what when I see some of these on TV, I ALWAYS watch them! So, that helped me out a little bit. Ha!
1. Pride and Prejudice - This is currently my favorite movie, and has been for a while. To me, it is one of those "perfect" movies. The writing, the directing, the cinematography, the acting, the everything is amazing! And it is GORGEOUS! It hits me right in my feel spot every time. I love it so so much.
2. Titanic - I have always been fascinated by the story. One of my favorite places is being at the Titanic museum in Branson, Missouri. It's awesome if you havent been! Plus, this movie won like all the daggum awards in its year. I always watch this when it is on tv. Burns 3 hours of my life. Ha!
3. Harry Potter (all of them) - Obviously. The HP was a huge part of my childhood, and they all just give me all the feels and the loves. So much nostalgia, and I can't get enough!!
4. The Princess Bride - Classic. Funny, emotional, witty, dramatic, action packed, heartfelt, scandalous. It is always awesome!
5. Twister - This may seem like an odd choice, but I have always loved this movie! I am terrified all the time at the thought of being caught in a tornado, or any disaster, but natural disaster movies are awesome! I am drawn to the tension and the danger of it all. Great film!
6. My Girl - Omg, this movie will rip your heart out and step on it. It will also make you smile from ear to ear! Love!
7. Jurassic Park - Another classic. Dinosaurs. Duh. Amazing!
8. Hook - This movie.... -sigh-. I adore it. Peter Pan grew up, and it sucks, and he has to remember to believe in magic and childhood and not "growing up" so that you don't forget to have fun and not always take like too seriously. Stuff like that.
9. Home Alone (1 and 2) - YESSSS! All the yes. That is all.
10. Dumb and Dumber - So quotable, so silly, so much fun!
11. Mean Girls - Another quotable one. So terrific!!
12. Forrest Gump - Such a lovely and complex story told through such a simple mind. A beautiful mind. He saw the world the way no one else really did, so honest and sweet, and childlike. But not in a dumb way, in a wonderfully naive to all the crap in the world way. LOVE. IT.
There ya go. This list could have gone on forever if I really thought about it long enough. I'm sure after i post this I will think of 12 other movies. Ha! Narrowing things down like this is really difficult!
- Cobb
1. Pride and Prejudice - This is currently my favorite movie, and has been for a while. To me, it is one of those "perfect" movies. The writing, the directing, the cinematography, the acting, the everything is amazing! And it is GORGEOUS! It hits me right in my feel spot every time. I love it so so much.
4. The Princess Bride - Classic. Funny, emotional, witty, dramatic, action packed, heartfelt, scandalous. It is always awesome!
5. Twister - This may seem like an odd choice, but I have always loved this movie! I am terrified all the time at the thought of being caught in a tornado, or any disaster, but natural disaster movies are awesome! I am drawn to the tension and the danger of it all. Great film!
6. My Girl - Omg, this movie will rip your heart out and step on it. It will also make you smile from ear to ear! Love!
7. Jurassic Park - Another classic. Dinosaurs. Duh. Amazing!
8. Hook - This movie.... -sigh-. I adore it. Peter Pan grew up, and it sucks, and he has to remember to believe in magic and childhood and not "growing up" so that you don't forget to have fun and not always take like too seriously. Stuff like that.
9. Home Alone (1 and 2) - YESSSS! All the yes. That is all.
10. Dumb and Dumber - So quotable, so silly, so much fun!
11. Mean Girls - Another quotable one. So terrific!!
12. Forrest Gump - Such a lovely and complex story told through such a simple mind. A beautiful mind. He saw the world the way no one else really did, so honest and sweet, and childlike. But not in a dumb way, in a wonderfully naive to all the crap in the world way. LOVE. IT.
There ya go. This list could have gone on forever if I really thought about it long enough. I'm sure after i post this I will think of 12 other movies. Ha! Narrowing things down like this is really difficult!
.....Everything is an illusion.....
;)
- Cobb
30DWC Day 14 - Movies I Never Get Tired of Watching
This would be a really, really long list if I didn't show some restraint. Therefore, I will only list the top 10 in no particular order. Also, remember that these aren't necessarily my favorite movies. They're just the ones I can watch again and again.
- Little Miss Sunshine - Fantastic music, fantastic acting, and a hilarious plot? Yes, please. This is actually one of my favorite movies.
- Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery and The Spy Who Shagged Me - I don't know why I even like Austin Powers movies. They're ridiculously stupid and crass... oh wait. That must be why I like them. Never mind. (Note: Goldmember was left off intentionally. Beyonce may be a musical goddess, but she is not an actress.)
- Practical Magic - All throughout the year I have to refrain from watching this all the time. I make myself wait until September to put it on because I don't want to ruin the special-ness. BTW, I've watched it 3 times so far and September isn't over yet.
- Moulin Rouge - Obviously, I love musicals. This one, though, I could watch every day and not get either depressed (hello, Les Miserables) or sick of the music (*ahem* ANNNIE!).
- Legally Blonde - I have no shame. I like the movie, and I like the musical even though I don't want to.
- Breakfast at Tiffany's - Holly Golightly: arguably one of the cutest and most likable characters ever written. She also manages to be the paragon of classy women, even though she's totally a call girl. Did you know Truman Capote wanted Marilyn Monroe to have the part? That would have sucked. Sorry. Not a Marilyn fan.
- Miss Congeniality - This is one of those movies that used to play constantly on TBS, and I am confident that I watched it in its entirety every single time it was on for about 2 years.
- Amelie - I don't need the subtitles. I just like the way this movie makes me feel. Can't be in a bad mood with Amelie!
- Anchorman - It seems almost sacrilegious to put Anchorman on the same list as Breakfast at Tiffany's, but I can't help it. Ron Burgundy is hilarious. Their rendition of "Afternoon Delight" makes me laugh every time.
- This one's risky because I just saw it for the first time, but I can tell it's going to be a re-watch: Moonrise Kingdom - Wes Anderson, you beautiful genius! No one does color and light like Wes Anderson. I can't possibly feel down watching his movies. They're beautiful and witty. My favorite quote from this one is, "I love you, but you don't know what you're talking about."
- Bowman
Saturday, September 26, 2015
30DWC - DAY 13 - EXCITEMENT!
There honestly, isn't really anything I am "excited" about right now. I have been more anxious than anything lately. ha!
I am excited to get our tattoos!
...
I am excited....for the unknown I guess? Even though I have been more anxious and confused and frustrated thinking about it lately, I guess I am slightly excited for it as well. Just not knowing what will happen. Not knowing what to do, but being excited to figure it out? Being excited to try to let go and let God? I don't know.
Not much going on in Beccaland. Not much to get excited about right now.
#letsdepresseveryone
#sorrythiswassossad
#Ha!
#iamexcitedtogotobedrightnowifthatcounts
- Cobb
I am excited to get our tattoos!
...
I am excited....for the unknown I guess? Even though I have been more anxious and confused and frustrated thinking about it lately, I guess I am slightly excited for it as well. Just not knowing what will happen. Not knowing what to do, but being excited to figure it out? Being excited to try to let go and let God? I don't know.
Not much going on in Beccaland. Not much to get excited about right now.
#letsdepresseveryone
#sorrythiswassossad
#Ha!
#iamexcitedtogotobedrightnowifthatcounts
- Cobb
30DWC - DAY 12 - #Blessed
Even though we have little things to complain about throughout each and every day, we are so unbelievably blessed. So we need to shut up.
Here are some things that I am so grateful for and have been so incredibly blessed with:
1. Family and Friends - I keep these hand in hand, cause most of my close and most important friends I consider family anyway. My family has always been very loving and supportive. I have been blessed enough to not have family who tears me down or makes feel like I can't do something. Some people do not have very supportive family, and I do. And I am thankful for that! My friends are the same way, very caring and supportive. I love them all!!
2. Home/food/water/electricity/etc... - Self explanatory, we would all be pretty irritated if we did not have these things for a significant amount of time. Or even a day! I am blessed to have a home and a place to unwind from the day. A place I feel the most comfortable. I am blessed to have food all day every day without even thinking about it. Like you said, I never think about the fact that I am not going to go hungry, I just know I will have food and water, not everyone can say the same. And that is sad.
3. Education - I am very thankful for my education. Even though I was never a big school person (I got sick of having to get grades from learning things. Blah.), I am extremely grateful that I had the opportunity to go to school.
4. Religious freedom - I am able to believe what I choose to believe and not be killed or imprisoned for it. And that is a huge blessing. Although, it seems like we all know that all that could change sooner rather than later. And it has changed already in some parts of the world. I don't know if our generation will be a part of it, but our freedom to worship Christ will more than likely come to an end pretty soon. But, I hope I am able to stay calm and trust God completely. No matter what happens. With God for me, who can be against me?!
5. My talent and creativity - Even though I have tons of self doubt in my abilities and over think every damned thing in my life, I am very thankful for my creativity and the way my brain works. I like thinking deeper about things, I like seeing the beauty in simple things, and I love being able to see and capture that with my camera. I still would like to continue to explore other creative mediums like painting, drawing, film, etc. I never know what I am capable of until I put my mind to it.
I thank my Lord and Savior for all of these things. And from now on I want to try to thank Him for all of these things, and anything and everything else I can think of daily. He deserves my praise and thankfulness every second of every day. Even though my thankfulness and gratitude could never be enough. Praise Gooooood!
- Cobb
Here are some things that I am so grateful for and have been so incredibly blessed with:
1. Family and Friends - I keep these hand in hand, cause most of my close and most important friends I consider family anyway. My family has always been very loving and supportive. I have been blessed enough to not have family who tears me down or makes feel like I can't do something. Some people do not have very supportive family, and I do. And I am thankful for that! My friends are the same way, very caring and supportive. I love them all!!
2. Home/food/water/electricity/etc... - Self explanatory, we would all be pretty irritated if we did not have these things for a significant amount of time. Or even a day! I am blessed to have a home and a place to unwind from the day. A place I feel the most comfortable. I am blessed to have food all day every day without even thinking about it. Like you said, I never think about the fact that I am not going to go hungry, I just know I will have food and water, not everyone can say the same. And that is sad.
3. Education - I am very thankful for my education. Even though I was never a big school person (I got sick of having to get grades from learning things. Blah.), I am extremely grateful that I had the opportunity to go to school.
4. Religious freedom - I am able to believe what I choose to believe and not be killed or imprisoned for it. And that is a huge blessing. Although, it seems like we all know that all that could change sooner rather than later. And it has changed already in some parts of the world. I don't know if our generation will be a part of it, but our freedom to worship Christ will more than likely come to an end pretty soon. But, I hope I am able to stay calm and trust God completely. No matter what happens. With God for me, who can be against me?!
5. My talent and creativity - Even though I have tons of self doubt in my abilities and over think every damned thing in my life, I am very thankful for my creativity and the way my brain works. I like thinking deeper about things, I like seeing the beauty in simple things, and I love being able to see and capture that with my camera. I still would like to continue to explore other creative mediums like painting, drawing, film, etc. I never know what I am capable of until I put my mind to it.
I thank my Lord and Savior for all of these things. And from now on I want to try to thank Him for all of these things, and anything and everything else I can think of daily. He deserves my praise and thankfulness every second of every day. Even though my thankfulness and gratitude could never be enough. Praise Gooooood!
- Cobb
30DWC Day 13 - What Am I Excited About Today?
I have a lot going on right now. My show opens in 3 weeks, I hosted my first party (a small one) yesterday at my house, I'm getting ready to move in less than a year, and I'm preparing for a big Halloween party.
Out of every exciting thing happening right now, I am most thrilled for something that isn't happening until 2017. I will take my first mission trip overseas. I cannot wait to go and meet new people and worship with them! They say that when you go into the mission field, you expect to change the people you're ministering to, but they end up changing you. I yearn for that experience.
How can you actively miss a place you've never even seen?
- Bowman
Out of every exciting thing happening right now, I am most thrilled for something that isn't happening until 2017. I will take my first mission trip overseas. I cannot wait to go and meet new people and worship with them! They say that when you go into the mission field, you expect to change the people you're ministering to, but they end up changing you. I yearn for that experience.
How can you actively miss a place you've never even seen?
- Bowman
Friday, September 25, 2015
30DWC Day 12- Oh Bless the Lord, My Soul
5 Blessings
- I am employed... for now. This is a luxury I've been afforded in the past, and I may not always have it. I will appreciate my job as long as I have it.
- David. I know. Obvious. I've said a ton about him already on the blog, so I'll just say again that he is amazing and I do not deserve him.
- I have a house. First off, it's not a 3rd story overpriced apartment (for which I am so grateful!). More importantly, though, it's shelter. So many people have no place at all to call home, or they have to build their homes in harsh environments. Jesus himself was nomadic, but I have a 3 bedroom home with air, heat, and indoor plumbing. Bonus: it's in a safe place and the rent is way cheap. I am ridiculously blessed.
- Food. I have never gone hungry. Others starve for days at a time, waiting to be able to afford food or die of starvation. I can eat whenever, and pretty much whatever I want.
- My dogs. I love my dogs! Even though they all harbor some kind of neuroses, they are my companions. They make me feel safe. And they never judge me when I drink wine in my underwear while watching Austin Powers for the 30th time.
- Bowman
Thursday, September 24, 2015
30DWC - DAY 11 - What If.....
Short and sweet...
I still sometimes wonder:
I still sometimes wonder:
What if I had continued on in becoming a Dental Hygienist?
Not that i regret my Fine Art degree in the slightest bit, but, I do think sometimes that if i had continued on with becoming a dental hygienist, i would have a more steady actual career right now. I would probably be out on my own. I would be supporting myself. I would have money. I would have fridays and weekends off. Maybe I would have met a fella by now, cause Lord knows who you can meet in dental school or in the office...
But, I also realize that that only time i start to think about the "what if's" is when I start having self doubt. When i feel like what I am doing now isn't going anywhere or when I don't know what I am doing.
But looking back on it, i always had the mind set of "this is practical, this will be a good career, this should be fine, i will make good money" when pursuing dental hygiene. However, with photography, it is something that i love to do. And i know that it is not guaranteed or practical, but somehow, I don't really care, cause i know i will make it work, and i will be doing what i love, so, it doesnt seem that scary....sometimes.
I try not to think too much about the "what if's". Cause it is pointless. We get very few do overs in this life. And I just want to try to think about it more like "what if i get to do this? what if i meet him here? what if this happens." Instead of "what if i had done this? What if I had said that?" Cause we will never know the answers to those kinds of "what if's". But we can always look forward to the future. :)
- Cobb
....nah.
30DWC - DAY 10 - I Feel Strongly...
I feel strongly that there should just be a simple and mutual respect among all human beings. And we all struggle with respecting other people, especially when they are not respectful to us, or we think they do not deserve respect. Here on earth, it seems to me that until you have done something to lose other people's respect, like kill someone, or in my opinion, steal something, or bully someone, or anything to hurt another person, people still deserve respect.
I could be wrong, I could be overlooking something, I don't know.
Also with opinions. We should all agree to disagree. Religion, politics, abortion, death penalty, whatever, we all have opinions. And some people's opinions are not the same as others, and I dont think it is right to try to force our own opinions and beliefs on anyone.
I don't agree with abortion. I never will. But other people have no problem with it. To me, that makes them wrong, because their opinion does not fall in line with my own. But should I force the fact that I think it is wrong on them? Should I try to change their opinion? And then when I don't agree with their opinion, does that also mean that they have lost my respect? All they did was have their own opinion.
I believe in God. I believe that Jesus Christ was God in human form and came down to earth to save us from our sins. He took our sins upon himself so that we could have eternal salvation and that we would not have to suffer an eternal death. I believe that with all my heart. Other people do not believe the same way, and actual tend to make fun of this belief. They say we are crazy that the Bible is made up and that there is no God. Saying there is not God, that is a difference of opinion. Making fun of what i believe in, that is lack of respect. I think they should go hand in hand. You don't have to agree with me, but I do expect you to respect me as a human being with my own opinions and beliefs. And visa versa.
Is this making sense??
It baffles my mind how disrespectful people are to each other. If we could all just accept that we are all different and we all have different opinions in this life, maybe we would all be able to life in a more substantial harmony. Ya know?
- Cobb
I could be wrong, I could be overlooking something, I don't know.
Also with opinions. We should all agree to disagree. Religion, politics, abortion, death penalty, whatever, we all have opinions. And some people's opinions are not the same as others, and I dont think it is right to try to force our own opinions and beliefs on anyone.
I don't agree with abortion. I never will. But other people have no problem with it. To me, that makes them wrong, because their opinion does not fall in line with my own. But should I force the fact that I think it is wrong on them? Should I try to change their opinion? And then when I don't agree with their opinion, does that also mean that they have lost my respect? All they did was have their own opinion.
I believe in God. I believe that Jesus Christ was God in human form and came down to earth to save us from our sins. He took our sins upon himself so that we could have eternal salvation and that we would not have to suffer an eternal death. I believe that with all my heart. Other people do not believe the same way, and actual tend to make fun of this belief. They say we are crazy that the Bible is made up and that there is no God. Saying there is not God, that is a difference of opinion. Making fun of what i believe in, that is lack of respect. I think they should go hand in hand. You don't have to agree with me, but I do expect you to respect me as a human being with my own opinions and beliefs. And visa versa.
Is this making sense??
It baffles my mind how disrespectful people are to each other. If we could all just accept that we are all different and we all have different opinions in this life, maybe we would all be able to life in a more substantial harmony. Ya know?
- Cobb
30DWC - Day 11 - A "What If" Question
Today's assignment: Ask yourself (or your readers) a what-if question. So, I've decided that mine is for you. You have to answer in the comments section, Miss America Style. I'll give my answer as well.
Q: What if we didn't have the societal norms that we have now?
A: If we didn't have our societal norms, I wouldn't care about clothing. I'd wear what I wanted, when I wanted, and no one would care.
Sure, you may be thinking, "you can do that now..." You're right. I could. But really, I can't. You're aware that David and I like to go to conventions. If society didn't stop me, I would wear convention clothes all the time. I love steampunk, and I find rave culture really interesting. Yes, I could go ahead and wear my RaveLocks and fishnets, or my steampunk Peter Pan costume (awesome hat included), but I just cannot bring myself to do that. Also, I'd get sent home from school if I wore my rave attire. It's pretty trashy.
I think also, in between looking like a spaz, I'd wear the same t-shirt and jeans just every day. When I get home from school, I put on one of the following:
Q: What if we didn't have the societal norms that we have now?
A: If we didn't have our societal norms, I wouldn't care about clothing. I'd wear what I wanted, when I wanted, and no one would care.
Sure, you may be thinking, "you can do that now..." You're right. I could. But really, I can't. You're aware that David and I like to go to conventions. If society didn't stop me, I would wear convention clothes all the time. I love steampunk, and I find rave culture really interesting. Yes, I could go ahead and wear my RaveLocks and fishnets, or my steampunk Peter Pan costume (awesome hat included), but I just cannot bring myself to do that. Also, I'd get sent home from school if I wore my rave attire. It's pretty trashy.
I think also, in between looking like a spaz, I'd wear the same t-shirt and jeans just every day. When I get home from school, I put on one of the following:
- Bath robe
- Sweatpants and Tyrion Lannister t-shirt
- Shorts and Tyrion Lannister t-shirt
- Tyrion Lannister t-shirt and underpants
I think you can see that I have a favorite t-shirt. I would wear that joker every single day if people wouldn't judge me for it.
Why do I care about this judgment? Because it's been ingrained into me since childhood. And that sucks. Did you know that Gap launched a campaign last year called "Dress Normal," which caused me to stop ever shopping there? I mean, really? Dress Normal?! Why do you care if I wear bunny ears and a mumu every day, Gap? What do you have against my people, The Weirdos?!
DOWN WITH GAP! Ugh. /endrant
- Bowman
- Bowman
Wednesday, September 23, 2015
30DWC - Day 10 - Something I Feel Strongly About
Let me start out saying that I did not intend for this writing challenge to be something serious. As you know oh-so-well, I am very, very rarely serious. I mask my feelings with humor in almost every situation. That said, it's about to get real up in this biz-nass.
Something that I feel very strongly about is the fact that our nation has such little regard for the less fortunate. Both in foreign countries, and in our own. The wealth disparity is ridiculously wide.
Let me be extremely clear: I do NOT support governmental Robin-Hooding (or, "spreading the wealth") in any way. What I do support is heartfelt generosity on a human and personal level. In this country, many of our poorest people are richer than almost half the world.
I've done quite a bit of research and documentary-watching on what it's like to live on less than one dollar per day (a statistic that is staggeringly large in far too many countries), and I have concluded this:
America is fat and happy while our brothers and sisters globally, starve to death daily.
This bothers my soul.
I am not pointing fingers or making myself out to be some kind of saint. I am part of this problem. So, I would like to downsize and make a difference.
I'm going to take the 7 challenge. In her book, 7, author Jen Hatmaker pares her life down to seven areas of excess, and then focuses on using seven items per month from each category. For example, Month 1 is food, so she ate only seven foods for 30 days. Month 2 is clothing, so she wore only seven articles of clothing for a month. You get the idea.
I would love to do something like this. Not to "raise awareness" or draw attention to myself as a holier-than-thou have-notter, but to force myself to think. To think every time I purchase something. To think every time I'm hungry. To think when I generate so much waste that I could have used instead of buying something new.
This project is intentional. It is inconvenient. I hope it is also life-changing.
- Bowman
Something that I feel very strongly about is the fact that our nation has such little regard for the less fortunate. Both in foreign countries, and in our own. The wealth disparity is ridiculously wide.
Let me be extremely clear: I do NOT support governmental Robin-Hooding (or, "spreading the wealth") in any way. What I do support is heartfelt generosity on a human and personal level. In this country, many of our poorest people are richer than almost half the world.
I've done quite a bit of research and documentary-watching on what it's like to live on less than one dollar per day (a statistic that is staggeringly large in far too many countries), and I have concluded this:
America is fat and happy while our brothers and sisters globally, starve to death daily.
This bothers my soul.
I am not pointing fingers or making myself out to be some kind of saint. I am part of this problem. So, I would like to downsize and make a difference.
I'm going to take the 7 challenge. In her book, 7, author Jen Hatmaker pares her life down to seven areas of excess, and then focuses on using seven items per month from each category. For example, Month 1 is food, so she ate only seven foods for 30 days. Month 2 is clothing, so she wore only seven articles of clothing for a month. You get the idea.
I would love to do something like this. Not to "raise awareness" or draw attention to myself as a holier-than-thou have-notter, but to force myself to think. To think every time I purchase something. To think every time I'm hungry. To think when I generate so much waste that I could have used instead of buying something new.
This project is intentional. It is inconvenient. I hope it is also life-changing.
- Bowman
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
30DWC - DAY 9 - These words speak to me.
Darling Magazine, as you know, rocks my socks. And in the Fall issue that came out this month, the theme of the whole issue was "Life's big question mark", and pretty much embracing that, and not being afraid of it. In the very first article under the first section, the Dreamer section, the article is titled "Waiting for the spark". One of the many inspiring lines reads as follows:
I want to experience the liberation of
relinquishing a sense of control over my life.
The entire article is amazing, but that sentence just now stood out to me. We keep waiting for things to happen in our lives, and when things don't go our way, we seem to believe that it is the wrong thing, or that we are being steered off course of what we think our life is supposed to be. Truth is, which we all know but seem to forget, is that nothing, and I mean nothing is certain. Another day or even minute on this earth is not even guaranteed. Yet we all walk through life making plans of what we see our lives turning into and how we think everything should go. But, it will not always happen that way.
Another line from the article reads:
The danger for dreamers who plan is that we often end up
clinging too tightly to our expectations about how life ought to unfold,
rushing our way toward dreamed-of destinations at the
expense of simply savoring the journey.
This is something that I have been thinking about lately, and stressing about. The fact that I always thought at like 20 that I would have everything figured out and whatever by the time I got to 25. I don't know why, but that just seemed like a reasonable age to have your shit together, and to have done a decent amount of things with your life. I even thought at one point, "I may be married by the time I'm 25. Well, I am 26 now, half way to 27, and I feel like I just graduated high school, not college. Like I just got my diploma, not a Bachelors degree. And that is very frustrating.
The article starts off with a quote from Thomas Merton. He was a Trappist monk and writer who spent half of his life living alone in his monastery's hermitage. It says that he found freedom and fulfillment through learning to accept a solitary lifestyle in quiet observation, meditation, and prayer.
His quote reads:
What I need is the grace to cease making any kind of fuss
over anything: travel in darkness and do God's will.
God determines everything that happens in our lives, and nothing is a mystery to Him. We need to trust that he always has out best interest at heart, and that He knows what He is doing with our lives, because He does. And we should never doubt that for a second. I have been praying lately that God leads me in the right direction, or rather the direction that suits His will for my life. I ask for His strength and wisdom and patience and to lean on Him when I feel lost and confused.
The article ends with another quote by Merton that says:
The more I leave everything to [mystery], the simpler
everything becomes, and the easier I travel.
We are all on the journey of life, and we need to savor every moment.
- Cobb
30DWC Day 9 - Words of Wisdom
C.S. Lewis, on giving:
He goes on to say that there should be things we do not get to do because we have donated our extra money. This is equally something I struggle with and something I feel strongly about, so I decided to list it on this day to cover both.
I have a lot of junk. I mean, a lot of junk. I need to do something about it, but I'll wait until tomorrow's post to talk about it.
- Bowman
"The only safe rule is to give more than we can spare...
if our expenditure... is up to the standard common among
those with the same income as our own, we are probably
giving away too little."
- Mere Christianity
He goes on to say that there should be things we do not get to do because we have donated our extra money. This is equally something I struggle with and something I feel strongly about, so I decided to list it on this day to cover both.
I have a lot of junk. I mean, a lot of junk. I need to do something about it, but I'll wait until tomorrow's post to talk about it.
- Bowman
Monday, September 21, 2015
30DWC Day 8 - The Struggle Is Real
Something I Struggle With
Worry. I worry about everything. And I do mean everything.
I am definitely a worst-case-scenario kind of person. Some examples of my ridiculousness:
- I don't go into haunted houses. What better place for an actual murder to hide?!
- I don't go on Drop Rides. What if I panic and tuck my legs under and they get cut off?
Pictured: Idiots
- When I go on airplanes, I'm nervous. Not just for the takeoff and landing, but the whole time. Imagine 7 hours of straight worry from here to Las Vegas. THEN imagine worrying about getting stalked in the airport after you've landed!
I could list literally hundreds more examples, but you get the idea.
Worry is bad. Not only does it mess up a fun time, but it robs you of your joy in general. I can't enjoy a peaceful run in my safe neighborhood because I'm worried. I can't get excited about travel because there are too many possible scenarios where it goes wrong. Worrying too much can ruin relationships, both with other people and with God.
Psalm 62: 5-8:
Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
6
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
7
My salvation and my honor depend on God[a];
he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
8
Trust in him at all times, you people;
pour out your hearts to him,
for God is our refuge.
Why am I so worried about everything? Worry does not come from God. It comes from man's fallen nature. I need to work on this because "the Lord is with me... what can mere mortals do to me?" (Psalm 118:6) God is my fortress, and I have nothing to fear.
- Bowman
- Bowman
30DWC - DAY 8 - Something I Struggle With.
This is gonna sound like a really looong pity party, but hey, we're being honest here, and this really is something I struggle with sometimes.
I struggle with the fact that I am 26 and I have never been in a relationship. I know that I am not the only one my age who who has never been kissed/had sex(waiting till marriage anyway, or at least i want to)/ been in a relationship, but it seems like up until now I would have experienced....something. Even if it was just holding someone's hand, which I have also never done in a romantic way, just in the "lets all hold hands and say a prayer" way.
This isn't something I dwell on all the time, or something that really gets me...depressed, but when I see other people happy, or feel lonely, it does kind of consume my thoughts for a time. I have so much love inside of me that could give to someone, and I have no way of knowing when he will come along, and that is very frustrating. I'm not getting any younger. Not that love should be something that is rushed into or settled for, but, when you have aspirations for yourself (like we all do), and you take a look at your life and what you have done or not done so far, it makes you wonder when things will happen, when the ball with get rolling.
I struggle with the thought of BEING in a relationship as well. The thought of never having been in one frustrates me, but the thought of ever being in one stresses me out. When you have gone as long as I have and never had anyone interested in you, or ask you on one date, or want to simply hold your hand or kiss your cheek, your confidence in yourself and your ability to be a partner to someone one day just keeps falling down this never ending hole. Every time you see your friends get flirted with or gazed at or talked to right in front of you, and you get nothing, it just keeps falling down that hole.
I sometimes wonder if it has all been my fault. I know I hold myself back, I know I don't really put myself out there, I know I am introverted. But it's not like you have to jump up and down and dress like a slut and whatever else to get people's attention. I have been around the opposite sex plenty of times and I know there have been plenty of opportunities for a guy to approach me, or talk to me, or whatever. But, it has never happened. I gave Spencer Blake Johnson all the opportunities in the world, which that doesn't mean he liked me so its understandable why he didn't take any of these chances, but they were there nonetheless. I rubbed the dude's shoulders every time he would ask me too, I liked doing it, I enjoyed just getting to touch him and just feel male physical contact. But he was clueless AF, and obviously never reciprocated anything.
I know when I do fall in love, I will fall hard, and I also fear that I will fall fast. This also scares me. The thought of being that vulnerable with your heart terrifies me. Especially after all I saw what my parents went through when they were getting divorced (something else I still struggle with, but that is a whooooole other blog post. ha!). I fear the thought that I will love someone and not have them love be back, or they will stop loving me. I'm scared of being lied to and being made a to look like a fool.
And because of all of this, I know I make it worse for myself. Nowadays even if there is a possibility a guy could talk to me or just look in my direction, its like my mind has already made the decision to decline it. To not even give him the time of day. It feels that if i do i will be wasting my time and energy, cause he's not gonna be into me anyway. I don't even give myself a chance to be hurt. But, in doing this I know I am not giving myself the chance to be happy either. Which we all deserve to have someone who loves us and someone who wants to love us. But we have to let them. We have to open our hearts to love and life and be willing to face whatever comes our way. Good or bad.
I know that everything is in God's timing, not ours. And if I am 40 and I have still never been in a relationship, then that is God's will, and I will have to learn to be content with that. I may never be with anyone, not everyone has to be, but we have to learn to be ok with that. On the other hand, when that man does come along, and he wants to love me and sweep me off my feet, I hope that I am able to let him. I want to open my heart to someone, because I have so much love that I could give to them. I want to spoil him, make him feel important, let him know that he is my love and my everything. He will never doubt it for a second. And I know that finding someone that you love and having them feel the exact same way has to be amazing. I know that in my own head it would be the most overwhelmingly beautiful feeling. I just hope I get the chance one day, and I hope I allow myself to have that chance, run with it, and never look back.
- Cobb
I struggle with the fact that I am 26 and I have never been in a relationship. I know that I am not the only one my age who who has never been kissed/had sex(waiting till marriage anyway, or at least i want to)/ been in a relationship, but it seems like up until now I would have experienced....something. Even if it was just holding someone's hand, which I have also never done in a romantic way, just in the "lets all hold hands and say a prayer" way.
This isn't something I dwell on all the time, or something that really gets me...depressed, but when I see other people happy, or feel lonely, it does kind of consume my thoughts for a time. I have so much love inside of me that could give to someone, and I have no way of knowing when he will come along, and that is very frustrating. I'm not getting any younger. Not that love should be something that is rushed into or settled for, but, when you have aspirations for yourself (like we all do), and you take a look at your life and what you have done or not done so far, it makes you wonder when things will happen, when the ball with get rolling.
I struggle with the thought of BEING in a relationship as well. The thought of never having been in one frustrates me, but the thought of ever being in one stresses me out. When you have gone as long as I have and never had anyone interested in you, or ask you on one date, or want to simply hold your hand or kiss your cheek, your confidence in yourself and your ability to be a partner to someone one day just keeps falling down this never ending hole. Every time you see your friends get flirted with or gazed at or talked to right in front of you, and you get nothing, it just keeps falling down that hole.
I sometimes wonder if it has all been my fault. I know I hold myself back, I know I don't really put myself out there, I know I am introverted. But it's not like you have to jump up and down and dress like a slut and whatever else to get people's attention. I have been around the opposite sex plenty of times and I know there have been plenty of opportunities for a guy to approach me, or talk to me, or whatever. But, it has never happened. I gave Spencer Blake Johnson all the opportunities in the world, which that doesn't mean he liked me so its understandable why he didn't take any of these chances, but they were there nonetheless. I rubbed the dude's shoulders every time he would ask me too, I liked doing it, I enjoyed just getting to touch him and just feel male physical contact. But he was clueless AF, and obviously never reciprocated anything.
I know when I do fall in love, I will fall hard, and I also fear that I will fall fast. This also scares me. The thought of being that vulnerable with your heart terrifies me. Especially after all I saw what my parents went through when they were getting divorced (something else I still struggle with, but that is a whooooole other blog post. ha!). I fear the thought that I will love someone and not have them love be back, or they will stop loving me. I'm scared of being lied to and being made a to look like a fool.
And because of all of this, I know I make it worse for myself. Nowadays even if there is a possibility a guy could talk to me or just look in my direction, its like my mind has already made the decision to decline it. To not even give him the time of day. It feels that if i do i will be wasting my time and energy, cause he's not gonna be into me anyway. I don't even give myself a chance to be hurt. But, in doing this I know I am not giving myself the chance to be happy either. Which we all deserve to have someone who loves us and someone who wants to love us. But we have to let them. We have to open our hearts to love and life and be willing to face whatever comes our way. Good or bad.
I know that everything is in God's timing, not ours. And if I am 40 and I have still never been in a relationship, then that is God's will, and I will have to learn to be content with that. I may never be with anyone, not everyone has to be, but we have to learn to be ok with that. On the other hand, when that man does come along, and he wants to love me and sweep me off my feet, I hope that I am able to let him. I want to open my heart to someone, because I have so much love that I could give to them. I want to spoil him, make him feel important, let him know that he is my love and my everything. He will never doubt it for a second. And I know that finding someone that you love and having them feel the exact same way has to be amazing. I know that in my own head it would be the most overwhelmingly beautiful feeling. I just hope I get the chance one day, and I hope I allow myself to have that chance, run with it, and never look back.
- Cobb
I know this post was long as ass. Deal with it!
30DWC Day 7 - 10 Songs I Love Today
This list contains 3 guilty pleasure songs... I am ashamed of myself.
- "Bitch Better Have My Money" by Rhianna (I dare you not to feel BA listening to that.)
- The "Little Einsteins" remix (Say what you want, that junk is catchy!)
- "Sail" by AWOLNATION (Obviously)
- "Radio" by Lana Del Rey (excuse the excessive F bombs)
- "Sweatpants" by Childish Gambino (Who knew I loved rap so much?)
- "Chandelier" by Sia (That entire album, really.)
- "Gold Dust Woman" by Fleetwood Mac (Classic, from childhood)
- "Sounds of Silence" the Disturbed cover (I love the original, but this one is so jammin')
- "Over the Pond" by The Album Leaf (for my Dadaist friends)
- "Woods" by Bon Iver (my go-to yoga music)
BONUS: "Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen, because it will always be a classic.
- Bowman
30DWC - Day 6 - Five Ways to Win my Heart
- Give me Something - This sounds selfish, but let me explain. I don't require gifts, but when someone goes out of his/her way to get me something just because I was on their mind, it means so much to me.
- Spend Time with me - It can be 30 minutes over coffee or 3 hours watching Family Guy episodes I've seen 40 times. I like spending time with people I love.
- Let me Vent - Venting is seen as a negative thing usually, but I have to disagree with that idea. At my current job, venting is quite the necessity. I work with children, so I don't want to take things out on them. Therefore, I let off steam to other people (read: David) who don't mind me getting my frustration out. The ability to get annoying things (of which there are plenty) off my chest is so liberating. And I promise, I'll return the favor to anyone who hears my random meltdowns.
- Care About Other People - There is nothing that draws me to a person faster than seeing them help someone else completely selflessly.
- Believe that God is More Important than Any Relationship - This is specific to romantic relationships, but it can apply elsewhere. Once I point-blank asked David if he loved me more than he loved the Lord. He said no. That's when I knew I would marry him. If you put anything before God, it is an idol, and many relationships drown because significant others become idols to us. I'm so glad that I don't have to worry about that with David.
- Bowman
Sunday, September 20, 2015
30DWC - DAY 7 - 10 Songs I am loving right now!
Some of these I have had on repeat, others i just remembered i liked recently, others are old favs. Here goes nuthin. Also, i hope these links work, if not, just look them up yourself ya slut!
1. Ingrid Michaelson - Can't Help Falling in Love: This song is SO amazingly gorgeous! It may be a part of my future, hopeful wedding. Ha!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhQp5wJyRUo
2. Owl City - Unbelievable: This song is soaked in nostalgia and made me cry. Love!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTWaiwb5QnE
3. Daughter - Youth: This song is so pretty. I heard it on So you Think You Can Dance, and it was put to a routine about alzheimers. So beautiful and heartbreaking. (I'll link the song and the routine below, hopefully the routine works.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6I1p_sXflQQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fNsRoOiEKU -----SYTYCD Routine!
4. Misterwives - Reflections: As You well know...this song is awesome! And the video is adorable!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBrOwiHO-5w
5. Hillsong United - Oceans: This is one of my main worship songs. I have never felt as close to God in a musical sense as when listening to this song. I will link my favorite live performance! Her highest note(you'll know it when you hear it) gives me tears and chills every time!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rK-MBCZ5K5Q
6. Haliee Steinfeld - Love Myself: This song is just really fun and makes me wanna dance!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMpFmHSgC4Q
7. Pop Danthology - Mashup 2013/2014: Grace Helbig mentioned them in a recent vlog, and they are awesome! i will post both mashups!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOHYCZLmbyc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJMapA8WgYw
8. Owl City(again) - Verge: I just love Owl City so damn much, so he is on here twice. And the video is cool.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYCURBSSyXw
9. Meadowlark - Eyes Wide: I heard this song on a Michalaks vlog recently. I just really liked it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtgRMDSJzmo
10. Eden - End Credits: Same as above, heard it on one of their vlogs, and really liked it! I am also gonna link their channel below. I LOVE their videos. They constantly inspire me, and make me wish i had better and more camera equipment. Ha!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZ5riJDW5wc
https://www.youtube.com/user/alittlebeautyvlog/videos ------Their Channel!!
And that's all Folks!
- Cobb
1. Ingrid Michaelson - Can't Help Falling in Love: This song is SO amazingly gorgeous! It may be a part of my future, hopeful wedding. Ha!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhQp5wJyRUo
2. Owl City - Unbelievable: This song is soaked in nostalgia and made me cry. Love!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTWaiwb5QnE
3. Daughter - Youth: This song is so pretty. I heard it on So you Think You Can Dance, and it was put to a routine about alzheimers. So beautiful and heartbreaking. (I'll link the song and the routine below, hopefully the routine works.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6I1p_sXflQQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fNsRoOiEKU -----SYTYCD Routine!
4. Misterwives - Reflections: As You well know...this song is awesome! And the video is adorable!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBrOwiHO-5w
5. Hillsong United - Oceans: This is one of my main worship songs. I have never felt as close to God in a musical sense as when listening to this song. I will link my favorite live performance! Her highest note(you'll know it when you hear it) gives me tears and chills every time!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rK-MBCZ5K5Q
6. Haliee Steinfeld - Love Myself: This song is just really fun and makes me wanna dance!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bMpFmHSgC4Q
7. Pop Danthology - Mashup 2013/2014: Grace Helbig mentioned them in a recent vlog, and they are awesome! i will post both mashups!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOHYCZLmbyc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJMapA8WgYw
8. Owl City(again) - Verge: I just love Owl City so damn much, so he is on here twice. And the video is cool.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYCURBSSyXw
9. Meadowlark - Eyes Wide: I heard this song on a Michalaks vlog recently. I just really liked it!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtgRMDSJzmo
10. Eden - End Credits: Same as above, heard it on one of their vlogs, and really liked it! I am also gonna link their channel below. I LOVE their videos. They constantly inspire me, and make me wish i had better and more camera equipment. Ha!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZ5riJDW5wc
https://www.youtube.com/user/alittlebeautyvlog/videos ------Their Channel!!
And that's all Folks!
- Cobb
Saturday, September 19, 2015
30DWC - DAY 6 - 5 Ways to win my heart.
So as you well know, no one has ever tried to win my heart. Therefore, I am not really sure....what my heart needs? What it wants....to win? But, being a casual observer of the world and other relationships throughout my life, I do know how I would like to be treated, so, I supposed these would do the trick. And these will just be what I want out of a relationship in general.
1. Communicate with me - I think that communication is probably the most important thing in a relationship. If 2 people are going to be "one", then there MUST be communication between them if they have any chance of staying together. I watched my parents fail to do this pretty much their entire marriage, they had TERRIBLE communication skills. And if I was able to observe that from a younger age, then I know how important it must be. If one of them was feeling a certain way about the other one, it was never discussed. They both would let it build up until it turned into an argument. Nothing was every really settled or discussed rationally. So...yea...communication of any kind is extremely important. This would also all include things like texting me first sometimes. Let me know that you care and that you are thinking about me. Because if I start to think that you don't give a crap anymore, my wall will go back up, and I wont give a crap either. And then we have a problem.
2. Have a sense of humor - I NEED someone to laugh with me...about anything. Someone with a stick up their ass who can't see the humor in just about everything, is someone I do not want to be with. I want someone who thinks TWSS jokes are funny, because i think they are hilarious. I want someone who is sarcastic, but OBVIOUSLY sarcastic. It is annoying when you can't tell when sarcastic people are being funny. You can't always tell if they are making a joke, or just being an asshole.
3. Have a passion for something - If I meet a guy who has something that he does that he is passionate about, that would definitely inspire me. I am constantly look for inspiration, and I think that being around someone who is passionate and is someone I love, that would be so inspirational. I'm sure love is very inspirational.
4. Smell nice - This may be a shallow one, but omg, when a man smells good.....I will have their children right there on the spot. Phew. Ha!
5. Love God, more than anything else - This is the most important one. Because I know that if a man loves God more than anything else, he will more than likely know how to treat me and what I want before I do. This will also be clear if he has a good relationship with this mother. I remember when I was at my peak of "like" with Spencer, one of the main things I liked about him was his passion and undeniable love for Christ. Every time I read my Bible or listened to Christian music I thought of Him, which drew me closer to God. I know it may not be good to draw closer to God through someone else, but I always thought that maybe that was the point.I was drawing closer to God by possibly getting closer to my future husband (which is what i thought at the time anyway. I saw a lot of potential there...). Someone who has a love and a respect for Christ and what He did for us should always win any girl's heart.
Bonus - I was looking up a photo to put at the bottom and I saw one "trick to win a heart" thing and I had to add it...because DUH!
Remember little things about me - Remember my favorite flavor of ice cream, my favorite color, my birthday, my mom's name, my cat's name, my love for trees and elephants. Remember that I don't like bananas, that I wear my heart on my sleeve, that I have at least of or two total bitch days when I'm pmsing and nothing I say is personal. If someone can remember the little things about me, things that I will take the time to remember about him.....we will be together forever. :)
Bonus #2 - This >>>>>>>>
I kept finding these photos! Ha!
- Cobb
1. Communicate with me - I think that communication is probably the most important thing in a relationship. If 2 people are going to be "one", then there MUST be communication between them if they have any chance of staying together. I watched my parents fail to do this pretty much their entire marriage, they had TERRIBLE communication skills. And if I was able to observe that from a younger age, then I know how important it must be. If one of them was feeling a certain way about the other one, it was never discussed. They both would let it build up until it turned into an argument. Nothing was every really settled or discussed rationally. So...yea...communication of any kind is extremely important. This would also all include things like texting me first sometimes. Let me know that you care and that you are thinking about me. Because if I start to think that you don't give a crap anymore, my wall will go back up, and I wont give a crap either. And then we have a problem.
2. Have a sense of humor - I NEED someone to laugh with me...about anything. Someone with a stick up their ass who can't see the humor in just about everything, is someone I do not want to be with. I want someone who thinks TWSS jokes are funny, because i think they are hilarious. I want someone who is sarcastic, but OBVIOUSLY sarcastic. It is annoying when you can't tell when sarcastic people are being funny. You can't always tell if they are making a joke, or just being an asshole.
3. Have a passion for something - If I meet a guy who has something that he does that he is passionate about, that would definitely inspire me. I am constantly look for inspiration, and I think that being around someone who is passionate and is someone I love, that would be so inspirational. I'm sure love is very inspirational.
4. Smell nice - This may be a shallow one, but omg, when a man smells good.....I will have their children right there on the spot. Phew. Ha!
5. Love God, more than anything else - This is the most important one. Because I know that if a man loves God more than anything else, he will more than likely know how to treat me and what I want before I do. This will also be clear if he has a good relationship with this mother. I remember when I was at my peak of "like" with Spencer, one of the main things I liked about him was his passion and undeniable love for Christ. Every time I read my Bible or listened to Christian music I thought of Him, which drew me closer to God. I know it may not be good to draw closer to God through someone else, but I always thought that maybe that was the point.I was drawing closer to God by possibly getting closer to my future husband (which is what i thought at the time anyway. I saw a lot of potential there...). Someone who has a love and a respect for Christ and what He did for us should always win any girl's heart.
Bonus - I was looking up a photo to put at the bottom and I saw one "trick to win a heart" thing and I had to add it...because DUH!
Remember little things about me - Remember my favorite flavor of ice cream, my favorite color, my birthday, my mom's name, my cat's name, my love for trees and elephants. Remember that I don't like bananas, that I wear my heart on my sleeve, that I have at least of or two total bitch days when I'm pmsing and nothing I say is personal. If someone can remember the little things about me, things that I will take the time to remember about him.....we will be together forever. :)
Bonus #2 - This >>>>>>>>
I kept finding these photos! Ha!
- Cobb
Friday, September 18, 2015
30DWC - DAY 5 - 5 Places to Visit!
I meant to think about these places today, to have legit answers, but, i forgot to think about it. ha!
So, I'm just kind of winging it.
1. Harry Potter World (obviously) - Harry Potter was always a HUGE part of my childhood and the love spilled over into my adult life. I just know i would be overwhelmed with joy and nostalgia being in the middle of the world i grew up loving. I want a wand, a butterbeer, a time turner, and omg, i would be so over the moon(y)...teehee! In addition to this, but I am not going to count as a different place necessarily, is the London Warner Brothers Harry Potter tour...thing. Actual film sets, costumes, props, omg. All the yes!
2. Jerusalem, Israel, Bethlehem, basically anywhere Jesus set foot - This would be such a humbling experience. And very overwhelming. An overwhelming that would be totally different from Harry Potter world of course. Just seeing where our Savior taught, died, and rose again, I can't imagine anything more inspiring and .....I cant even think of a worthy adjective.
3. Hawaii - I want to be surrounded by the Pacific Ocean. Plus, what a relaxing vacation! I bet it is beautiful there! And any of the islands in the surround area would be awesome as well.
4. Space - I know this is really far fetched, but, it would be so amazing. Being able to see our home planet and all the other billions of creations up close and personal.....WOW. Imagine how small you would feel flying near Jupiter....whoa!
5. Africa - I want to see elephants and other wild animals up close. Oh the photo opportunities!!
I know these were really lame answers, but, I didn't think about this one for very long. But, all of these would be nice to visit. Space.....yea right. hahaha!
-Cobb
So, I'm just kind of winging it.
1. Harry Potter World (obviously) - Harry Potter was always a HUGE part of my childhood and the love spilled over into my adult life. I just know i would be overwhelmed with joy and nostalgia being in the middle of the world i grew up loving. I want a wand, a butterbeer, a time turner, and omg, i would be so over the moon(y)...teehee! In addition to this, but I am not going to count as a different place necessarily, is the London Warner Brothers Harry Potter tour...thing. Actual film sets, costumes, props, omg. All the yes!
2. Jerusalem, Israel, Bethlehem, basically anywhere Jesus set foot - This would be such a humbling experience. And very overwhelming. An overwhelming that would be totally different from Harry Potter world of course. Just seeing where our Savior taught, died, and rose again, I can't imagine anything more inspiring and .....I cant even think of a worthy adjective.
3. Hawaii - I want to be surrounded by the Pacific Ocean. Plus, what a relaxing vacation! I bet it is beautiful there! And any of the islands in the surround area would be awesome as well.
4. Space - I know this is really far fetched, but, it would be so amazing. Being able to see our home planet and all the other billions of creations up close and personal.....WOW. Imagine how small you would feel flying near Jupiter....whoa!
5. Africa - I want to see elephants and other wild animals up close. Oh the photo opportunities!!
I know these were really lame answers, but, I didn't think about this one for very long. But, all of these would be nice to visit. Space.....yea right. hahaha!
-Cobb
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