1. Have, like, 30 dinner plans. In my house, we (and by that I mean my dogs and I) have 3 different Thanksgiving meals. First, my mom's, then my dad's, then David's family's. Make sure that if you have this many, you practically gorge yourself at every single stop instead of doing things in moderation. Who needs that? Peasants. That's who.
2. Start the Christmas Jamz! Play nothing but Christmas music until December 26th. I'm not being sarcastic on this one. Really do this.
3. BLACK FRIDAAAYYY!!! As a teacher, I make about seven dollars a year. That means I should spend roughly 8 million dollars on the day after Thanksgiving because, America.
4. What's a good Thanksgiving without a little family discourse? Stir the pot this holiday with inappropriate dinner conversation. Or perhaps accidentally mention your tattoo in front of your 90-year-old grandmother. Pump up the party further by drinking too much of your step-mom's spiked cider and telling your vegan cousin she's a moron. Responsible? No. Memorable? Yes.
5. Sleep.
Love and chocolate pie,
Bowman
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